Nobody likes to be written off by people like friends, family, and work relationships, but it happens to the best of us. This week, I've done a lot of "searching" and thinking within myself about my "relationship statuses" with people I know. Of course, my immediate family, which include my wife, brothers, sister-n-law, parents, aunts, uncles, and cousins; they're not going away. Then I go to my friend zones and I see a huge shift that's happened. I know for sure my best friend column has dropped significantly, the same is with my associates column. I'll tell you why. I've been written off and that's been a hard pill to swallow. I'll admit, it hurts but now I'm beginning to see the benefits of being written off by certain folks. It's cool now. A new found mentor told me recently that in this phase (a transitional period) of my life, I was going to know who my real friends are. Man, he was right. I've learned that we as people use the word love too loosely. For years, I've heard the same people who've written me off say they love me but once I begin to follow/know the real truth about how life is and things in life are truly supposed to work, the pages of me in their life's book is torn out, thrown in the trash, and burned. My name and reputation is questioned (from what I hear through the grapevine "blasphemed"). My noted and displayed love for them through gossip and judgment has been tarnished. It's cool now, though. I'm enjoying the pill that I swallowed with a cold glass of milk. So the question is to those who're going through "relationship changes", what are you supposed to do when people write you off? It's a hard yet simple truth, 1. forgive them, 2. address them (if right opportunity presents itself), 3. move on, and 4. new friends will come your way. Some people result to revenge when people write them off (verbally or physically). Some people slump into a lifetime of depression (don't let people fool you, that emotion will come). Some people just move on without a care in the world. Yet I see that four step process works and is one that I'm going through now. At times, do I miss those that have written me off for absolutely no reason? Yep but the big sign in front of me reading "A Bright Future Is Ahead Of You" helps me kiss my past relationships goodbye. We can't help or control how people treat us, no matter how many good things you've done them. To be more personal, those that have written me off know in their heart of hearts that I've done no wrong to them. However, because of their pride, greed, manipulation, control, and selfishness, my "presence" was deemed to be despicable. Now, I'm not going to be self-righteous because I've done the same to many other folks (what goes around comes around). But now, I love my life been written off, it feels good now. Although this process sucks sometimes, I'm moving on and closing chapters in my life that no longer have value in my life. I know this blog is a bit random but my friends, dude has to share his heart. It is what it is.
Til next time, ThePotStirrer.....
Keep stiring the pot of truth....I've been written I HAVE for years BUT GOD.....!
ReplyDeleteBeing that I have gone through the same thing, I can say what "worked" for me. I forgave them, even though they threw it back at my face. Was angry with them, had my heart ripped out by them, however, the people who really loved me, are still at my side. I've learned that regardless of the circles that we find ourselves in, people are people. It took a long time for me to really accept that truth. Currently, I find myself not holding on to people's every word. I know that man can left me down. Does it hurt sometimes, yes. Does it seem fair that the people that we considered as mentors or spiritual leaders, ended up hurting us simply because we found out the real truth, no is not. But I now see things like this, God allowed it to happen for a greater purpose and one day I will find out and understand why. As for now, I look at the people that matter most to me, my wife and my kids, and know that I have to do what is right for them. I cannot lead anyone else if I do not lead them the right way first. So later for those that wrote us off, it's their lost not ours!!
ReplyDeleteKeep these blogs coming, not many people are pushing REAL out here anymore!!!!