Handling Conflicts Pt. 1

I can't say anything about any other culture or race, but I do believe in American culture, especially in the Bible belt states of the US, some people don't know how to handle conflicts. What is conflict? According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary:

Conflict- a struggle for power, property, etc.

: strong disagreement between people, groups, etc., that results in often angry argument

: a difference that prevents agreement : disagreement between ideas, feelings, etc.

For some of us who are still leaving in a fantasy world, closed off "from the world" like hermits, monks, nuns, and the FLDS, conflicts are inevitable in life. We can't run away from them. We can't avoid them. As the late great rapper Guru (RIP) of Gangster said in the classic "Moment Of Truth" 1998 LP, we must "...meet life head on, no holds barred..." Well said my friend. I can honestly say I've gone through this my whole, just like anyone else in the world. I've been the legitimate cause of problems in relationships, workplaces, etc. and been the party wronged by others. What I learned from the old school who I used to shoot ball with back in the days is that you have to handle conflicts.  Some methods of handling conflicts or even handling conflicts all together won't be well received by those who are around you. Some will say, let it go, pray about it, walk away, blah, blah, blah. But it's a tried and true method from science, to history, to english, to communications, sociology, psychology, and in various religions that you must handle conflicts. You must meet it head on, bringing yourself and the other party or parties to the table and hash these conflicts out. Handling conflicts, for some of us, are just terrible in handling conflicts. People get defensive real quick when they've been outed with information from the other party that's been hurt by them. People start to lose their cool when they can't get their point across. Some people in our society end the conflict with a bullet or some other sadistic way to shut the other party up. But I've learned that avoiding conflict and thinking you just have to let it go and pray about things, just doesn't work. It goes against the very order of how God wants us to handle conflict. In the Bible, it details a teaching from Christ about how he says if we have an issue with another person, put down whatever you're doing, and take the time out to go to them. Tell them about this issue that's killing you inside instead of talking to others about the situation (gossip only makes things worse and spread "venom" in the others' lives). In other words, confront them, tell them the issue, and whatever outcome, you've given yourself freedom from the pain, hurt, anger, and confusion you experienced. I recently had to do this. I was dealing with some really tough emotions (if you haven't read my past blogs, you should, and trust, I was doing some whistleblowing-hello somebody). I kind of heard some bad advice and "teachings" that taught me to pray about things, let it go, this that and the third. But that's wrong. Even rape victims, families of murder victims, and characters from the House of Cards had to address some issues (it's on Netflix, riveting). These different types of people didn't handle conflicts to set the other party straight (but at times can be the reason) but to free themselves from the thoughts they have from others. 9 times out of 10, the other party isn't going to receive the information with a receptive heart. They'll denied it to the tee (unless it deals with numbers aka money- "show me the receipts"-Whitney Houston LOL). They'll even say certain comments to get you riled up to discredit the intent of your conversation. But never ever let conflict fester because you will be the one who can't sleep at night or have peace in your heart. To be honest, after handling some conflicts, I feel a lot better, a whole lot better and was able to share with you all that you must handle conflicts. Never avoid them. Handling conflicts allows the truth to prevail even if we or the other parties won't admit to it. My next blog will discuss more on this issue.

Til next time, dgwo AKA Happy Man.....