Handling Conflicts Pt. 1

I can't say anything about any other culture or race, but I do believe in American culture, especially in the Bible belt states of the US, some people don't know how to handle conflicts. What is conflict? According to the Merriam Webster Dictionary:

Conflict- a struggle for power, property, etc.

: strong disagreement between people, groups, etc., that results in often angry argument

: a difference that prevents agreement : disagreement between ideas, feelings, etc.

For some of us who are still leaving in a fantasy world, closed off "from the world" like hermits, monks, nuns, and the FLDS, conflicts are inevitable in life. We can't run away from them. We can't avoid them. As the late great rapper Guru (RIP) of Gangster said in the classic "Moment Of Truth" 1998 LP, we must "...meet life head on, no holds barred..." Well said my friend. I can honestly say I've gone through this my whole, just like anyone else in the world. I've been the legitimate cause of problems in relationships, workplaces, etc. and been the party wronged by others. What I learned from the old school who I used to shoot ball with back in the days is that you have to handle conflicts.  Some methods of handling conflicts or even handling conflicts all together won't be well received by those who are around you. Some will say, let it go, pray about it, walk away, blah, blah, blah. But it's a tried and true method from science, to history, to english, to communications, sociology, psychology, and in various religions that you must handle conflicts. You must meet it head on, bringing yourself and the other party or parties to the table and hash these conflicts out. Handling conflicts, for some of us, are just terrible in handling conflicts. People get defensive real quick when they've been outed with information from the other party that's been hurt by them. People start to lose their cool when they can't get their point across. Some people in our society end the conflict with a bullet or some other sadistic way to shut the other party up. But I've learned that avoiding conflict and thinking you just have to let it go and pray about things, just doesn't work. It goes against the very order of how God wants us to handle conflict. In the Bible, it details a teaching from Christ about how he says if we have an issue with another person, put down whatever you're doing, and take the time out to go to them. Tell them about this issue that's killing you inside instead of talking to others about the situation (gossip only makes things worse and spread "venom" in the others' lives). In other words, confront them, tell them the issue, and whatever outcome, you've given yourself freedom from the pain, hurt, anger, and confusion you experienced. I recently had to do this. I was dealing with some really tough emotions (if you haven't read my past blogs, you should, and trust, I was doing some whistleblowing-hello somebody). I kind of heard some bad advice and "teachings" that taught me to pray about things, let it go, this that and the third. But that's wrong. Even rape victims, families of murder victims, and characters from the House of Cards had to address some issues (it's on Netflix, riveting). These different types of people didn't handle conflicts to set the other party straight (but at times can be the reason) but to free themselves from the thoughts they have from others. 9 times out of 10, the other party isn't going to receive the information with a receptive heart. They'll denied it to the tee (unless it deals with numbers aka money- "show me the receipts"-Whitney Houston LOL). They'll even say certain comments to get you riled up to discredit the intent of your conversation. But never ever let conflict fester because you will be the one who can't sleep at night or have peace in your heart. To be honest, after handling some conflicts, I feel a lot better, a whole lot better and was able to share with you all that you must handle conflicts. Never avoid them. Handling conflicts allows the truth to prevail even if we or the other parties won't admit to it. My next blog will discuss more on this issue.

Til next time, dgwo AKA Happy Man.....

Diallo Reloaded

Over 15 years ago (February 4, 1999) in Bronx, NY, an unarmed African man named Amadou Diallo was shot 19 times by four NY policemen from a clear case of racial profiling. Unlike the police officers related to the Michael Brown and Eric Garner (two of many police brutality incidents occurring in a racially charged year of 2014-so far), these officers went to trial. However, these NY police officers have something in common with the two noted "cases", all of them have gotten off. Whether they sleep at night for all that's happened and knowing the actions they performed expired the lives of these men, is something only themselves know for sure. I can say for sure that the United States of America hasn't learned anything from the senseless "murder" of Amadou Diallo. For the most part, some of us don't know about the stories of the post Civil War until the turn of the new millennium from Emmet Till (other young boys have been "executed" without a court judgement) to Rodney King (some guys have had batons inserted where the sun doesn't shine). Well, as I've said before from the topics of religion (which is doing none of us any damn good whether we realize it or not) to racism, "history repeats itself." And I'd like to add something to that effect in the words of my old 9th grade history, Mr. Eddie King, "If you don't know your history, you're bound to repeat." This goes from a local level to a national level. I mentioned in a post or two previously that marches, prayer summits, and rioting won't change anything. One thing I remember from Mr. King's "mild" tangents is in order for change to occur, we must meet with the powers that be to change things. It's great now we have YouTube and press conferences (if we didn't need it now, we surely need Piers Morgan to give his two cents on this matter...); it's awesome of all that technology has given us. However, it's time we take these comments, thoughts, and experiences to Capitol Hill (with the exception Rep. Peter King-who agree with Eric Garner's slaying, Congress and the White House have either side stepped or been silent about this whole matter) and the Justice Department (which is utterly f---ed up). Now the latter part of my previous sentence makes a lot of sense to me now from what I learned from Mr. King, we're taking this fight in the wrong places. Yes, we're speaking out and showing support to show our distrust of the system, but now it's time to go head to head and toe to toe with the people running the system. Since Diallo's fatal shooting (before the turn of the new millennium), there have been no changes in the law to protect us, black, white, red, blue, and yellow. I was reading something about 4 days ago, an innocent white woman was killed by police and those dudes didn't get indicted. Yes, a black woman in Cali was beaten to a pulp by police, was awarded a nice settlement, and those cops are getting handled by LAPD; but nation wide, police brutality is getting out of hand. Just last weekend, I saw a Harker Heights PD an armored humvee (a military vehicle) driving right outside Barnes and Noble. I know what it was. Although it's been said police aren't turning into "military minded" tactics to "protect and serve", I'm seeing something "conspiracy theorists" are saying is a step into "martial law" (Google it). Will this end? Will police brutality continue? Yes. Will the laws change to penalize those who willful treat their fellow Americans wrongfully? No. Not until we get a group of people well versed in the law, another group of people with strong knowledge in history, and another group of people who've been victims or the family members of victims to get in the Supreme Court's face. Easier said than done, right? But "nothing's impossible to anyone who believes." Clearly, I'm frustrated with this whole thing. As a young 33 year old Black dude living in Bible Belt society that keeps secrets, looks the other way, says nothing, and a playground for racism/prejudice to parade in the minds of people in powerful place, both eyes and ears are open. I hope to never go through what these other men and women experienced, some losing their lives or livelihood. But if it does, don't riot. Don't pray. Don't march. Find a way to go to the heart and mind of this nation and effect change through using your mind, opening your mouth, and writing the solutions down. Hopefully, these words will reach somebody who feels where I'm coming from. It's time we stop allowing "the system of things" reload Diallo. It's time for some damn changes. As the Preamble says, "We The People." We have the power and it's time to remind the powers that be what time it is.

Til next time, my friends.......

The Truth About Entitlement

Entitlement is a big issue happening with our younger generation (or today's generation in general). They're loaded with all the gadgets, cars, and quality lifestyle they can ever think of (that's what I see here in Central Texas). When I was a teen, most of the kids I knew had to work for what they wanted; very few were "privileged." Most of the kids I knew who worked were hustlers, saving their money, and in some cases, had to help their parents out with the bills. I on the other hand was a spoiled rotten kid that had to join the Army to break my thoughts of being "entitled." I would have a job and screw it off. I didn't save a dime. Hell, I didn't have any aspirations in life. My dad would get on me but I always bucked against him. Almost 20 years later, my thoughts and feelings of entitlement are mostly gone (my wife spoils me sometimes...☺️). But now, as I go to local malls, I see kids these days from toddlers, to preteens, teenagers, and young adults, throwing tantrums, hissy fits, and disrespectful gestures when they can't get what they want. This generation, some call it Generation Y, feel they are entitled when the new iPhone or smartphone comes out. They're entitled to shopping sprees every time their parents get paid. They feel entitled to hang out all night and do whatever because they're "passing school." Some of them believe their parents are supposed to give them what they want when they're doing good at school. However, many of these kids in my area don't know the value of hard work and dedication (most of the kids are military kids....). There are some going above and beyond right now to make their mark and to set for themselves pathways of success. They understand that entitlement cannot come without the blood, sweat, and tears of hard work. To be entitled, you have to earn it. The same goes for a lot of us adults, too, thinking that prayer, knowing somebody who knows somebody, and "getting by" will grant us entitlements of success. That's bull---- and we're carrying that some bull---- into the lives of the next generation. We have to work for what we want. Can veterans use their GI Bill without serving a certain period of honorable service in the military? Can a person attain a college degree without completing a certain amount of hours? Can a person become a successful manger at a job without developing the necessary leadership qualities? Can a person get a weekly paycheck without coming to work? You should know the answer. I'm trying to bury that little teenaged spoiled boy everyday to becoming a hard working man for the sake of my family. Putting money away that I can't touch. Developing other skills outside of my first line of income. Hell, getting an increase for my VA compensation benefits. All of this requires work. I'm not "there" yet but I'm working with the cards I've been dealt rather than waiting for a miracle to fall from heaven to make life easier for me. Each time we run into these young whipper snappers, we need to drop some gems on them about how entitlement really works. It requires work. Hard work and dedication.

Til next time, Mr. "Still on Leave Until Next Tuesday Overton....

Black Folks, It's Time For Something New

Before I get to it with today's blog, I'd like to say RIP to another activist and politician, Marion Barry. Second, I'd like to wish my brother James a happy 20th b-day. Now, let's get to the issues at hand. I mentioned these two men (I see now) for person. During the heyday of the Civil Rights Movement, Marion Barry was one of those dudes who was a "mover and shaker" in this process. Among various other people who I can't name all, he made a lot of contributions to the Black community. Of course, this is over 30-40 years ago. Fast forward to the 21st century, there has been more happening in the Black community. AIDS is still an epidemic. Men on the "Down Low" and still with their women. Young black men and boys getting caught up in the penal system. Violence. The rocky foundation of installing the desire for education. Hip hop of today is uninspiring (sucks). Black churches (religion as a whole no matter what it is) are killing the comprehension and common sense of a super religious people. Financial freedom is becoming a harder thing to achieve when family members are stealing your SSN. The list goes on. One more thing is "igging" me like my name is Chico Debarge, the riots happening in Ferguson, Missouri. It's a damn shame the grand jury has decided to not indict Officer Darren Wilson for killing Mike Brown. If this was anyone else in our society (well, politicians get off all the time for dirty deeds against other citizens), trial proceedings would've been underway. Did they use the dash cam video as evidence to confirm testimonies that are in line with the evidence (well, that's if it was on....or "deleted"). The biggest point, why didn't he tase him than shoot him? < I truly believe common sense and comprehension is leaving American culture do to the "microwave age" we're living in> My thing is, black folks, is this, did you not see this coming? Do you not read the news and see that other happenings in our society within the past 3 years, it takes less than 3 months for a grand jury to decide whether or not to indict someone (if the case isn't a federal case against someone)? Why in the hell are you rioting and holding prayer vigils? Is rioting and prayer to God going to bring some clearly washed away principles of justice to light? While you're rioting, plundering your neighbors' hard earned business, the powers that be are laughing at you saying, "just like black people...." Where are supposed black leaders in this entire situation? Hell, where were you during thr LA riots when two (or three, I can't remember) black dudes pulled out an innocent truck driver and beat hm to death? Does this need to happen again? Does history have to continually repeat itself over and over again until as a black community learn that marches, prayer vigils, and loud talking will change nothing? Don't you think it's time to hold forums on political TV shows and programs to discuss matter on a legal nature? Don't you think it's time to hold all these black preachers of the Christian and Isalmic faiths accountable for not speaking up for the fatherless, impoverished, and poor outside of their four walls, multi-acted kingdoms? Like "Da Revolutionary With Tattoos" (a fellow Carolinian with a blog series on YouTube), I'm not trying to be like Batman, one seeking the spotlight. Oh no, I like my behind the scenes job very well. All I'm saying is, as I've learned from my job, it's time to update our processes of doing things to create a better life. Hopefully by the time my brother, James reaches my age in about 13 years, the black community as a majority will see the light and free itself from the Willie Lynch mentality. Hopefully, his generation will be the change we need in the black community as a whole. It's not time to be rich in material sense, but rich in the mind, soul, and spirit. Only this will excrete positive change. This means us, the X generation (born in the '80s) need to wake up from Facebook talking about bull---- and start sharing our thoughts on matters that will help those after us. Like my 9th grade history said to us then, "we are going to the see the foundations of change in every aspect of American society. We are ones holding the keys are change." Of course, I'm no saint by any means. I'm just as mad as those folks in Ferguson but there's a better way to address this issue than rioting and marching. That BS is sooooooo 1960-1995. Like The Roots said back in '99, " it's time for something new."

Til next time, "The Westbury Bully...."

Reflections Are Eternal

Today, I've had a "damn" moment. Not a moment of admiring one of Lebron's dunks, or winning the Texas Lottery (wishful thinking again), it was a time of reflection. Just a year ago, my life chained to the murky cell of religion. Today, I'm taking a load off from a very fast paced week at work, where I found out yesterday, I'll be working on a new team starting Monday. As I writing this blog in my place of refuge, Barnes and Noble, I'm in a place of reflection. For the better part of 2014, I've wasted a lot time, money, and energy numbing myself to the pain of betrayal, dishonesty, lies, corruption, abandonment, depression, anger, frustration, revenge, and hatred after 10 years of "spiritual abuse." People like my main man "Big Joe" reached out and said something very key that I wake up to and sleep on, "during this process, don't become like them." The very nature of a sociopath has been eating away at my soul all year but I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm beginning to feel certain destructive emotions, thoughts, and actions lose their grip on my soul. Some Christian folks will say, it's God and there's no doubt that it is. But maybe, just maybe, the gift of free will and tenacity is now becoming stronger. Deep inside, I want to live, I don't want to die. For the past three weeks, I've been on a "Bobby Womack binge", listening mostly to him and Andre Cymone's (Prince's first bass player and childhood friend) The Stone. They have helped through this moment of clarity, see through the smoke and mirrors of the pain. I have come to the conclusion, it's time for me to live and be all that I'm supposed to be. Create music and share my gift to the world by my wife's side. Continue to be the voice of the voiceless, especially the "spiritually ignorant" who continue to place all their bets on the "set man/woman of God" to lead them into a better life. I've come to the conclusion, as the second to the last of the Overtons, it's time to live with a mentality to not only survive, but thrive in this crazy world, "To Be Frutiful or Die Trying." I'm the master of my own destiny by the choices that I make here and now. What happened in the past is nothing to live in as if it is happening in the present. It's there to teach me lessons and to tell me, you ole battle axe, you're still swinging. Today or whenever you read this blog, take time to reflect on your life. Until you say the d word, the power of reflection has occurred yet, my friends. 

Til next time.....

Time To Come Out And Live

Now, David is not trying to get more views or attention for this post (mostly for the title). If you give me about 5-8 minutes, I will explain myself. More and more people from young to old are "coming out" (as the great song sang by Diana Ross, written by "Nard" and Nile Rodgers) as being gay. In my "religious days" I was preaching and teaching against homosexuality, just as any other "Christian minister" should do in his or her monologue in prison (oh sorry, church). Now, after my break out, my views have changed. No longer do I judge them, I love them, I accept them.

Better than that, I respect them. Why do I respect them? Because they are open and honest about who they are as a people. That's more than I say for myself and the millions (and millions-in The Rock's voice) of people on this planet. They're in Austin, in San Francisco, in the Big Easy, in Germany, they're everywhere giving the bird to stuck up, religious, judgmental, prideful, and masquerading humans pointing their fingers, shivering,and staring at them. Do I still cringe inside when I see two dudes kissing? Yes. Do I still have conflicting thoughts seeing girls looking like dudes? Yes. I'm still detoxing from the lavish American version of hypocritical Christianity. But I accept those people because they're human just like me. Each of us have a road we have to travel. I know mine in this point of my life is living that "vagabond life." Wandering, trying different things, researching different views, in search of the real David "Ruffin" Overton. I now believe God is in everything, everywhere, and in everyone. As I said before, who am I to judge someone else's "orientation?" I believe the point I'm trying to make here is that we all have "tendencies" about ourselves that are "frowned upon" in society. The question is, are we living our lives the way others are "telling us to live?" Or are we "stepping out on faith" to be what we are supposd to be? That's why I respect  the people "living out loud" as they can in the LGBT community. Now let me say this too, David ain't gay, I loooovee my chocolate delight by the name of Mrs. Overton. < I guess the whole scene with that man at the annual bull---- Cogic conference sparked this one off. > Be who you're supposed to be. Do what you're supposed to be doing. Only God can judge each of us and you'll be amazed at how many "religious" (judge mental) folks won't be joining the rest of us at the everlasting wedding party in heaven (Matthew 21:23-32-my favorite I used to shut religious folks up). -I'll be talking about this subject another time....

Well my friends, I've ran out of gas. I hope you enjoyed my tangent for today. 

Til next time.....

Praise Paul, Screw Jesus

Well, it's Sunday and I've been mulling as to, "should I write this, should I not?" Well, since we're all entitled to our opinions on any subject matter, I might as well talk about an issue that many people don't think about. For any scholar in the literary field across the world, and for any practicing "minister" (which I think they need to change to servant due to the over-abundance of pimping in the American church system), Paul of Tarsus known as the probably the greatest apostle ever, wrote the majority of the New Testament. This is true. The man wrote a lot of stuff dealing with various issues. Adultery, the true characteristics/qualifications of being a leader (in any field/career in life), money (but discouraged the blasphemous notion of tithing), and the list goes on. Many preachers, especially in the Bible and in overall Christian music love quoting Paul. From Romans, Ephesians, Hebrews (especially 10:26-which by no means is about anyone going to a stupid building faithfully every week to get spoon fed "word of faith" teachings that have nothing to do with reality), Corinthians, Colossians, and Philippians (I picked these because they're the most used). Why do people always talk about the writings of Paul than the writing Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John wrote about every one's "supposed" Lord and Saviour" Jesus the Christ? Why do we hear and see people quote more about Paul than about the Christ himself? Better yet, why do people love to quote the old testament and Paul most of the time than the stories about Jesus and the other writers of the new testament? Hmmmm.... I want you people to think about this and let this lil' dude from Raleigh North Carolina "take you on a voyage." Many people who are "saved" or "go to church" regularly say they love Jesus. You see there lil' statuses on Facebook, Twitter. You see their lil' videos on YouTube giving thanks to God for all their blessings or fan favorite, "I love Jesus" quotes. You see these people in the malls, outside of Walmart (selling plates of course, well that's what they do in Central Texas) "witnessing" to people on "the God they serve." Yeah, they might use John 3 in their little witnessing (hustling) campaigns, but guess who's quoted the most, especially in the "tracks" they give to people? Paul of Tarsus; probably the less used words from the "man of Galilee." Now, here's where the heart of my opinion is expressed. I believe the reason why Paul, the old testament, and other writers are quoted more than the words of Jesus is from people using these words to solidify themselves in the eyes of men. We see with a lot of big named and local preachers. They do this to pimp the people out of knowing what "salvation" is all about. They twist and tangle these writers to control and manipulate the minds of the people; common sense and the use of comprehension be damned. They claim this is the "work of the Holy Spirit" but the last time I read, this supernatural force "opens the eyes of the blind." Yes, people talk about Jesus all the time but nobody really knows the guy. Yes, they quote stories like the Gethsemane, the trip on the lake during a tempest, spooky "revelations" of the last days, sometimes the stories of him feeding thousands of people (mostly to subvert the true principle of the story to solidify the notion of tithes/offerings), and a few other stories. But if you really ask these people about some of the most fundamental things found in "the gospels" that shaped the writings and opinions (oh yes, there are a lot of opinions in Paul's writings although he was "divinely inspired") of Paul, Peter, James, Jude, and John, these people couldn't tell you. The story Jesus told about the widow with the last mite that destroys the notion of tithes and offerings. The multiple chapter escapade found (primarily) in Matthew and Luke destroying Pharisee/Sadducee (church) leadership and "soul pimping." Or what about the teaching He alone is the Good shepherd, not these self pronounced pastors, bishops, and apostles.... What about divorce, the true nature of angels, and my favorite, how the "sinners" of the world like Lil Wayne, Lady Gaga, and Perez Hilton have a 90 to 100% chance of beating 90 to 100% self proclaimed "christians" to heaven? Paul is used as a tool to "pump up" christian ideologies. Jesus is the scapegoat to draw the people into a life filled with delusions, confusion, and lies. To correctly quote Paul, to be damned (condemned for they don't believe in Christ but men), never coming to the knowledge of the real truth (which is a exposition of John 3-how you like me now?). Before I close this blog full of "sacrilege", I'd like to mention another favorite people love to talk about, Matthew 7 and 24. These two are giving us the same principle, "know the truth and it'll set you free" (one also quoted by Mr. Farrakhan) from the current "intellectual black plague" infecting the "spiritually redeemed." As I said before, as Peter said about Paul's writings, people use them to lie to imprison the minds of men because they are "unlearned and unstable" themselves. They are, in principle, continuing the "apostolic and prophetic" left by Paul and the old testament, only using Jesus to make it "a holy work of God" (to all my history buffs, doesn't this remind you of the Catholic Church before, during, and after the dark ages?). In the meanwhile, Jesus isn't getting "the short end of the stick" but in Mr. Vincent K. McMahon's term, "getting screwed." Who else gets it? The people following these "christian movements" of lies. Thank God I'm not about of it. So, this will probably be one of the few times in my blogs I'll quote Paul but only to show Paul's true intent, which many of these people preaching, teaching, dancing, singing, and rapping don't share (of course, in my very own instigating way), knowing God for yourself:

Paul asked a question, "why are you people bickering about who or who not has the truth about God? Don't you idiot see this is causing confusion, envying, strife? Some of you are saying, I'm of Paul or this other guys. Don't see we are just men doing are part, not to have you follow us like we're gods ourselves, but to know God for yourself?" - you look it up yourself and as Jesus said, "see if you really have this eternal life you say you have?

All I'm saying is, read the writings about the accounts of Jesus than move on to Paul and the others. But I warn you, you won't be the same again because your blood will be boiling every time you people speak from a twisted form of "God."

Well my friends, if I haven't made this clear enough, I tried. Plus, I'm only one man, there are millions of people who probably have a better opinion than I do on this. Hell, probably an atheist does...only God knows. Hahaha....

Til next time, Mr. dGWo........