Who Is The Captain Of Your Destiny?

We're living in a time (the horrid millennial era) when people feel entitled, don't take responsibility for the shit they do (or don't do), and complain about everything (yet do nothing about it). Mostly, this type of behavior is exhibited by the black community (although it's seen in other races). Whenever logical people point their bullshit out, they love to throw out the famous Tupac phrase, "only god can judge." Well, in the Queen James book (aka KJV), it says "that people are gods" and in the real world, every person is entitled to their opinion. Fuck it, here's mine. My question to people today is, who is the captain of your destiny? Is it an invisible force called "god?" Is it your boss on your job? Is it your spouse or children? Should the captain be these people, places, and things? Should it be you? I'll concur with the latter rhetorical question. One thing I hate hearing people say is that "god will take care of me" bullshit. In this generation, we're hearing people say this and doing it accordingly, which is nothing. You've got young people in college flunking school and trying to manipulate the professors/department heads to pass them using lies. We've got ASNs (ain't shit nuccas) always looking for a handout because they still don't know what earning a living is about. We've got women having babies by ASNs repeatedly, getting their mindset pacified by heir local churches, and living off everyone else's tax dollars. You know what these motherfuckers say and believe; god will take care of me. God isn't the only one taking care of them, it's the rest of us, too. They have become irresponsible people and want someone else to take care over their lives. Why do you think black folks are so docile and underachieving? I'll tell you. They want someone else to take the role of captain in their life but refuse take the role for themselves. They want people to tell them what they want to do (mostly what they want to hear) and follow their lead. These motherfuckers don't have initiative in them. They believe "Jesus" is gonna make everything alright but let me bring you back to reality. You better wake up and get with the fucking program. I see too many of us not traveling, not saving, not climbing the ladder to riches, and not laying a foundation of successive legacy for those behind us. I'm not telling people not to believe in god but saying that you need to the captain of your own destiny. At the end of the day, you have to pay bills, you have to work, and making it in this world requires you to steer your own ship. That's responsibility and the toils/joys of adulthood. So please, get out of the cabin bed, pour water on your face, and get back to the captain's seat of your life and take control of your life. You'll thank me later....

Lessons We Can Learn From Jay-Z's "Adnis"

This past Friday, a bonus edition of Jay-Z's 4:44 LP was released, which includes a song dedicated to his late father called "Adnis." Although I've enjoyed the project, I was anticipating to hear "Adnis" and when I heard it, I was buried with tears. I felt where Jay-Z was coming from because I've been there before with my biological father, "Ben." I listened to that song at least 4 times within a 30 minute period and let my wife listen to it as well. After I played her the song, I cried again.

"Letter to my dad that I never wrote"
Speeches I prepared that I never spoke
Words on a paper that I never read
Proses never penned they stayed in my head (fear to release those emotions)
Jotted on dotted lines, "I'mma fight you nigga" (revenge, anger, hurt, loneliness, abandonment)
Stories that I heard I'm just like you nigga (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree)
Must've been some pain in your past too (in the black community, the cycle of pain never ends...)
Must've been karma that was past due ("the sins of the father/mother are passed to the sons/daughters")
Must've been the energy that passed through (the chance of redemption, the chance the break the cycle of pain)

Ask anybody from my family, I'm the spitting image of my father, down to the way I act. My mom would show me pictures of him when I was a kid to remind me that I had a father (he left us when I was 4). I can remember many times I would be frustrated with my life because I wanted what my other friends and classmates had, a father. I was a very angry kid and it followed me for a long time. One thing I will say, my stepfather, "Daddy Tony" has been an amazing father to me but deep inside, I wanted my father around. There have been periods in my life that we had no contact, sometimes months, most times, years. I went through so much shit, mental shit in my life that no kid before the age of 10 should experience but I did. Sometimes, I say to myself, how would I be if my father was around. Nobody will ever know. I'm a big Jay-Z fan and the second song I heard from the God emcee (besides "Lucky Me") that showed his "mortality" was "This Can't Be Life" (from "The Dynasty" LP). Then I heard "Momma Loves Me" (off "The Blueprint" Vol 1) and boy, that took me through some various emotions (in September 2001, I hadn't heard from my father since June 2000). Fast forward 2017 and this song hits my spirit. The part that got me was this:

"Who would've thought I'd be the dad I never had (maturity)
Be the husband I've become
You, see nothing come from that
I forgive you as I live through the beautiful present of the past (if we choose to...)
I'm just thank that I get all these gifts to unwrap" (lessons, taking the good out of the bad)

I'm a fairly new father as of June 25, 2016 and it's been a terrifying ride. Once my father told me that at least 3 generations of fathers left their families and everyday I fight to break the cycle. I've long forgave my father for all the times he wasn't there, especially after knowing the circumstances he's told me he experienced in his childhood. 2017 has been an interesting year in hip-hop music but to hear a legend of S. Dot come from the throne to tell people, particularly men, his struggles when it comes to fatherhood/childhood/parenthood. "Adnis" is a song of reflection, which I believe is stark reminder of the continual problems in the black community. There are too many single mothers with multiple kids and those kids don't have their father around to love or provide. We've got too may young boys (and girls) walking around angry with the world, hating themselves, and borderline homicidal/suicidal because their father (mothers) is nonexistent (most of the time emotionally/psychologically healthy relationships). This song talks about the culture of abandonment that so many of us in the black community (or anyone of any race for that matter) deals with when the people we love the most leaves us hanging. This song also touches on the problem that the black community has when it comes to drugs and alcohol (oh yeah, this includes me, too). Most importantly, this talks about the black community finally letting go of its ego, its pride, its carelessness, its selfishness, its religion, its excuses, and talk about the various shit that plaques us as individuals as well as families. Albums like Jay-Z's "4:44", Tyler the Creator's "Flower Boy", Vic Mensa's "The Autobiography", and Logic's "Everybody" are wake up calls for us to speak honestly and openly. However, there is reasonable doubt the black community as a whole are listening to the horns to simmer down, sit down, and get real. 

Tim next time.....

Black Folks, It's Time For Something New

Before I get to it with today's blog, I'd like to say RIP to another activist and politician, Marion Barry. Second, I'd like to wish my brother James a happy 20th b-day. Now, let's get to the issues at hand. I mentioned these two men (I see now) for person. During the heyday of the Civil Rights Movement, Marion Barry was one of those dudes who was a "mover and shaker" in this process. Among various other people who I can't name all, he made a lot of contributions to the Black community. Of course, this is over 30-40 years ago. Fast forward to the 21st century, there has been more happening in the Black community. AIDS is still an epidemic. Men on the "Down Low" and still with their women. Young black men and boys getting caught up in the penal system. Violence. The rocky foundation of installing the desire for education. Hip hop of today is uninspiring (sucks). Black churches (religion as a whole no matter what it is) are killing the comprehension and common sense of a super religious people. Financial freedom is becoming a harder thing to achieve when family members are stealing your SSN. The list goes on. One more thing is "igging" me like my name is Chico Debarge, the riots happening in Ferguson, Missouri. It's a damn shame the grand jury has decided to not indict Officer Darren Wilson for killing Mike Brown. If this was anyone else in our society (well, politicians get off all the time for dirty deeds against other citizens), trial proceedings would've been underway. Did they use the dash cam video as evidence to confirm testimonies that are in line with the evidence (well, that's if it was on....or "deleted"). The biggest point, why didn't he tase him than shoot him? < I truly believe common sense and comprehension is leaving American culture do to the "microwave age" we're living in> My thing is, black folks, is this, did you not see this coming? Do you not read the news and see that other happenings in our society within the past 3 years, it takes less than 3 months for a grand jury to decide whether or not to indict someone (if the case isn't a federal case against someone)? Why in the hell are you rioting and holding prayer vigils? Is rioting and prayer to God going to bring some clearly washed away principles of justice to light? While you're rioting, plundering your neighbors' hard earned business, the powers that be are laughing at you saying, "just like black people...." Where are supposed black leaders in this entire situation? Hell, where were you during thr LA riots when two (or three, I can't remember) black dudes pulled out an innocent truck driver and beat hm to death? Does this need to happen again? Does history have to continually repeat itself over and over again until as a black community learn that marches, prayer vigils, and loud talking will change nothing? Don't you think it's time to hold forums on political TV shows and programs to discuss matter on a legal nature? Don't you think it's time to hold all these black preachers of the Christian and Isalmic faiths accountable for not speaking up for the fatherless, impoverished, and poor outside of their four walls, multi-acted kingdoms? Like "Da Revolutionary With Tattoos" (a fellow Carolinian with a blog series on YouTube), I'm not trying to be like Batman, one seeking the spotlight. Oh no, I like my behind the scenes job very well. All I'm saying is, as I've learned from my job, it's time to update our processes of doing things to create a better life. Hopefully by the time my brother, James reaches my age in about 13 years, the black community as a majority will see the light and free itself from the Willie Lynch mentality. Hopefully, his generation will be the change we need in the black community as a whole. It's not time to be rich in material sense, but rich in the mind, soul, and spirit. Only this will excrete positive change. This means us, the X generation (born in the '80s) need to wake up from Facebook talking about bull---- and start sharing our thoughts on matters that will help those after us. Like my 9th grade history said to us then, "we are going to the see the foundations of change in every aspect of American society. We are ones holding the keys are change." Of course, I'm no saint by any means. I'm just as mad as those folks in Ferguson but there's a better way to address this issue than rioting and marching. That BS is sooooooo 1960-1995. Like The Roots said back in '99, " it's time for something new."

Til next time, "The Westbury Bully...."