Who Is The Captain Of Your Destiny?

We're living in a time (the horrid millennial era) when people feel entitled, don't take responsibility for the shit they do (or don't do), and complain about everything (yet do nothing about it). Mostly, this type of behavior is exhibited by the black community (although it's seen in other races). Whenever logical people point their bullshit out, they love to throw out the famous Tupac phrase, "only god can judge." Well, in the Queen James book (aka KJV), it says "that people are gods" and in the real world, every person is entitled to their opinion. Fuck it, here's mine. My question to people today is, who is the captain of your destiny? Is it an invisible force called "god?" Is it your boss on your job? Is it your spouse or children? Should the captain be these people, places, and things? Should it be you? I'll concur with the latter rhetorical question. One thing I hate hearing people say is that "god will take care of me" bullshit. In this generation, we're hearing people say this and doing it accordingly, which is nothing. You've got young people in college flunking school and trying to manipulate the professors/department heads to pass them using lies. We've got ASNs (ain't shit nuccas) always looking for a handout because they still don't know what earning a living is about. We've got women having babies by ASNs repeatedly, getting their mindset pacified by heir local churches, and living off everyone else's tax dollars. You know what these motherfuckers say and believe; god will take care of me. God isn't the only one taking care of them, it's the rest of us, too. They have become irresponsible people and want someone else to take care over their lives. Why do you think black folks are so docile and underachieving? I'll tell you. They want someone else to take the role of captain in their life but refuse take the role for themselves. They want people to tell them what they want to do (mostly what they want to hear) and follow their lead. These motherfuckers don't have initiative in them. They believe "Jesus" is gonna make everything alright but let me bring you back to reality. You better wake up and get with the fucking program. I see too many of us not traveling, not saving, not climbing the ladder to riches, and not laying a foundation of successive legacy for those behind us. I'm not telling people not to believe in god but saying that you need to the captain of your own destiny. At the end of the day, you have to pay bills, you have to work, and making it in this world requires you to steer your own ship. That's responsibility and the toils/joys of adulthood. So please, get out of the cabin bed, pour water on your face, and get back to the captain's seat of your life and take control of your life. You'll thank me later....

Lessons We Can Learn From Jay-Z's "Adnis"

This past Friday, a bonus edition of Jay-Z's 4:44 LP was released, which includes a song dedicated to his late father called "Adnis." Although I've enjoyed the project, I was anticipating to hear "Adnis" and when I heard it, I was buried with tears. I felt where Jay-Z was coming from because I've been there before with my biological father, "Ben." I listened to that song at least 4 times within a 30 minute period and let my wife listen to it as well. After I played her the song, I cried again.

"Letter to my dad that I never wrote"
Speeches I prepared that I never spoke
Words on a paper that I never read
Proses never penned they stayed in my head (fear to release those emotions)
Jotted on dotted lines, "I'mma fight you nigga" (revenge, anger, hurt, loneliness, abandonment)
Stories that I heard I'm just like you nigga (the apple doesn't fall far from the tree)
Must've been some pain in your past too (in the black community, the cycle of pain never ends...)
Must've been karma that was past due ("the sins of the father/mother are passed to the sons/daughters")
Must've been the energy that passed through (the chance of redemption, the chance the break the cycle of pain)

Ask anybody from my family, I'm the spitting image of my father, down to the way I act. My mom would show me pictures of him when I was a kid to remind me that I had a father (he left us when I was 4). I can remember many times I would be frustrated with my life because I wanted what my other friends and classmates had, a father. I was a very angry kid and it followed me for a long time. One thing I will say, my stepfather, "Daddy Tony" has been an amazing father to me but deep inside, I wanted my father around. There have been periods in my life that we had no contact, sometimes months, most times, years. I went through so much shit, mental shit in my life that no kid before the age of 10 should experience but I did. Sometimes, I say to myself, how would I be if my father was around. Nobody will ever know. I'm a big Jay-Z fan and the second song I heard from the God emcee (besides "Lucky Me") that showed his "mortality" was "This Can't Be Life" (from "The Dynasty" LP). Then I heard "Momma Loves Me" (off "The Blueprint" Vol 1) and boy, that took me through some various emotions (in September 2001, I hadn't heard from my father since June 2000). Fast forward 2017 and this song hits my spirit. The part that got me was this:

"Who would've thought I'd be the dad I never had (maturity)
Be the husband I've become
You, see nothing come from that
I forgive you as I live through the beautiful present of the past (if we choose to...)
I'm just thank that I get all these gifts to unwrap" (lessons, taking the good out of the bad)

I'm a fairly new father as of June 25, 2016 and it's been a terrifying ride. Once my father told me that at least 3 generations of fathers left their families and everyday I fight to break the cycle. I've long forgave my father for all the times he wasn't there, especially after knowing the circumstances he's told me he experienced in his childhood. 2017 has been an interesting year in hip-hop music but to hear a legend of S. Dot come from the throne to tell people, particularly men, his struggles when it comes to fatherhood/childhood/parenthood. "Adnis" is a song of reflection, which I believe is stark reminder of the continual problems in the black community. There are too many single mothers with multiple kids and those kids don't have their father around to love or provide. We've got too may young boys (and girls) walking around angry with the world, hating themselves, and borderline homicidal/suicidal because their father (mothers) is nonexistent (most of the time emotionally/psychologically healthy relationships). This song talks about the culture of abandonment that so many of us in the black community (or anyone of any race for that matter) deals with when the people we love the most leaves us hanging. This song also touches on the problem that the black community has when it comes to drugs and alcohol (oh yeah, this includes me, too). Most importantly, this talks about the black community finally letting go of its ego, its pride, its carelessness, its selfishness, its religion, its excuses, and talk about the various shit that plaques us as individuals as well as families. Albums like Jay-Z's "4:44", Tyler the Creator's "Flower Boy", Vic Mensa's "The Autobiography", and Logic's "Everybody" are wake up calls for us to speak honestly and openly. However, there is reasonable doubt the black community as a whole are listening to the horns to simmer down, sit down, and get real. 

Tim next time.....

Sunday Edition: There Is Life After Jesus

Hello, friends, it's been a long time since I've written a blog; a lot has changed. I'll tell you now, it's taking a lot of out me to write this post because in the black community, this train of thought is frowned upon. It's sort of blasphemous for anyone in the black community not believe in or live for Jesus Christ. In my opinion, it's feels like anyone who doesn't believe is considered worse than a "sinner man." I can say this because in my "christian days", I would go ham on anyone who didn't believe in Jesus, from atheists, to Muslims, to people who experienced "church hurt." I'd "witness" to them about the "love of Jesus" and provide "chapter and verse" to support my work "in Jesus' name."
Today, I'm not that same man and very much a non believer of Jesus.

Since early 2012, my out-processing of the christian faith has been an arduous one. Many of my family and friends don't know that I'm an agnostics, hell, borderline atheist. During this process, I've taken the time to step out of the christian community and analyze things with a broader perspective. I've finally concluded that Jesus is nothing more than a deadbeat father (well, that's if he existed). I see that we in the black community have been indoctrinated to love this "jesus" with all our heart, mind, soul, and strength. We are taught to live for Christ, shame this "devil", pray, believe, go to church, worship him, and wait to go to heaven after we die. Well, that's all lies. I believe, the main reason why many of us believe and serve Jesus is because we are fearful of going to hell.

We are indoctrinated with this and it's caused a cognitive dissonance that muddies reality. We are taught that we are nothing with god and cannot experience success without christ. Hell, nowadays, we're told that anyone who is black with riches and wealth are members of the Illuminati and have sold their souls to Bhapmomet. Lies. Many of us are praying, fasting, worshipping, preaching, singing, and serving yet hear that voice in our spirits saying, "when are you going to give this up?" Some of us maybe hearing our your true conscience saying, "don't you think there is more to your life than doing all of this?" Some of you believe that if you have legitimate doubts about christianity that you are succumbing to the "wiles of the devil." Some of you are in church services nodding your head to the words of a preacher but deep inside you feel like your trapped. Some of you want to do great things with your life but the rules founded in the scriptures and the hypocritical Christian culture have developed mental chains from you doing this.

Many of us believe that if we don't believe in jesus that our lives are over. It's not and believe me, your life will blossom even more without jesus. Some people in my life are hoping that I'll come back home (church and jesus), forget all that my family has experienced, and get back on track. That'll never happen because I'm living a life that's far better than what I had with jesus. My career is really going forward in the right direction (promoted five times within 5 years), a son of my own, new friends who  love me without hidden intentions, and most importantly, me being what I want to be. In the christian religion, I was hammered with achieving the purpose jesus wanted me to have but it was more like me chancing a dangling carrot (and a hamster on a wheel). I had to paint my face with happiness but I was a sad sack of shit. Although I still have problems (like anybody else), I'm finally experiencing happiness.

You see, I've learned and still learning that I don't need to find strength, love, happiness, contentment, or success from somebody I can't see. All of that is in me and it's my responsibility to achieve those accolades. To be quiet honest, it behooves you to do the same. I believe your life will be more blessed without jesus than with jesus. There's no need to serve someone you'll never see in this life or the next (if there is one). There's no need for you to forgive undeserving people because you want "jesus" to forgive you (remember, forgiveness is not given but earned). There's no need for you to give your money in the church's collection plate hoping god will bless you (that money needs to be invested in yourself). It's time to take back the reins of your life and live the life you want to live. This life is limitless and religion (that includes relationship with jesus) only roadblocks your way to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

If your thinking of leaving the faith, I support you. It's not easy because people are going to come at you and try to make you doubt on the decision that works best for you. At the end of it all, there is life after jesus and once you begin living life on your terms, those same people coming at you will be jealous of you. Live the life you want to live, live your truth, live it responsibly, live it with no regrets (at least try to...). If this is you, get out of the pews, walk towards the exit door, open the exit door, and the crazy world around that's called sinful as your place of freedom.

'Til next time....

Silence Within The Black Community

For the past couple of weeks, hip-hop pioneer Afrika Bambaataa has been accused of molestation from people that could've been his victims. After this shit hits the fan, KRS-One comes out to defend one of the founding fathers of hip-hop.

Since the deaths of Trayvon Martin, Mike Brown, and Eric Gardner, an organization called the Black Lives Matter Movement has been on the rise from Ferguson Missouri to Baltimore Maryland. In a nutshell, it's purpose is to bring awareness of crimes against black people by the powers that be, cops and the white man. However, there's a bunch of other shit it doesn't stand for nor won't talk about (I'll get to that later).

Two pastors from the Atlanta area and The Gump Alabama got snitched on by the people they exposed and/or infected with the AIDS/HIV virus. 100 plus pastors secretly had a meeting with Donald Trump, who's openly dissed women, Latinos, and Muslims, and have given their full political affiliation to his cause. Hell, a well known pastor from ATL asked his supporters to donate their taxable incomes to help buy him a 65 million dollar tax write-off plane (which he already bought).

A mother (probably single) from San Antonio Texas was charged with abusing her children, from having two of her children on a leash and the home they all stayed was a shit hole. If anyone who's a father paying child support in the great state of Texas, the majority of custody cases favors women. Let's break it down further. Do you notice child support doesn't go to the kids but to these mothers, who are, as Juvenile termed, "Project Chicks?" The weaves, the nails, the sorry ass men they're screwing while the fathers have to flip the bill.

These different scenarios and more aren't discussed in the black community and anyone who says something politically incorrect (offense to the community), they're blacklisted. Coon, sell-out, Oreo, Uncle Tom, or the devil. However, these different scenarios are running rampant in the black community and it's time they be addressed. Fuck praying and fasting about this shit. Fuck using religion, Jesus, Allah, holy books, and whatever other spiritual monotony to deflect our problems. It's about time to kill the biggest elephants in the room that is still keeping us in the predicaments we're in, blaming slavery and the white man for where we are today.

Yes, the present black community is still feeling the effects of slavery; however, we can't put all the blame on the "white man." You know who we need to blame? We need to blame the people who sold us out for women, land, control, power, money, weapons, and other trade deals; our African ancestors (do your research). Case and point, until we begin to research and educate ourselves on these matters we're going to continue to guidelines laid out for us by the Willie Lynch letters.

Which leads to the ignorance of the BLM movement....

It's funny how BLM talk about the injustices white people and the police have incurred against blacks. They look for a black person to get knocked off by police so they can torch neighborhood businesses, people's cars, people's houses, loot stores, march, and scream at police barricades. However, when a 9 year old girl in Ferguson Missouri was killed by a stray bullet from a probable act of gang activity. Was there a march, looting, and rioting for her? A couple of months ago, right here in The Gump, some innocent folks got shot by some black ass-wipes over nothing. When a elderly gentleman got shot by a cop (after a struggle in the dead of night), here comes BLM showing their muscles. Let's not forget about the high murder rates in places like Chicago Illinois and the widespread drug trades/gang activity in Kinston North Carolina. Hell, when two black cops killed a white young boy in New Orleans, there was hardly any press about this tragedy. Where is BLM at these places? Where are the marches and the protests denouncing these behaviors within the black community? If someone who knows about these different crimes, they keep their mouths shut in fear of retribution from some niggly hoodlums.

Molestation is real and it's rampant, from the projects, to the suburbs, to the schools, and in the church. Shit, I'm of this bullshit and to this day, I'm still working to unravel myself from its effects in my life. There's a code of silence in our community when it comes to this matter. When people who do this shit to others, namely children, mentally disabled, the disadvantaged, and elderly, we're told to keep this shit a secret. But do you know what happens when you keep a secret like this? It fucks with you. For some, they go to drugs, some to alcohol, others to promiscuity, some to suicide, and some of the abused become the abuser. When someone is dealing with these issues, we're quick to say it's sin, the devil, and don't help them seek professional help. They don't have the forums, places, or freedom to express the pain that's been inflicted. They are told to forgive their abusers, let the pain go, and move it along It's easier said than done and these victims bear the weight of this shame; however, their abusers get away "Scott Free." Therefore, the cycle of molestation continues and god-damn if a public figure gets outed, the first reaction by us in the black community is to defend them.

Which leads me to my next point.....these bum ass, no job having ass preachers.....

Out of the various pastors/preachers getting outed for exposing/infecting people (men & women) of HIV/AIDS, one got sentenced to prison and the other one, well, he just lost his church (which is still gong on to this day, why?). After the media railroaded this well-known ATL pastor for his multi-million dollar acquisition, he plays the defense and accuses the media of being "agents of Satan." The fucked up part is that he's got that plane, flying wherever he wants to go (and probably not for ministerial reasons), and nobody can do shit about it. Well, something could be done about it but that would need members of the black community to vacate his services every week and take their talents (time, money, skills) elsewhere. However, many like the members of this pastor's congregation are brainwashed, indoctrinated, and told "not to touch the Lord's anointed." Most of us in the black community are afraid of questioning these pastors/preachers because we feel that if we do so, hell and God's displeasure is our fate.

Since the 1980s, the church and the gospel of Christ hasn't helped the black community deal with the epidemic of HIV/AIDS. Instead of providing condoms, proper sex education, and awareness of this still fatal disease, we're told to "marry than burn in sexual sin." We're told to be sexually pure (not have sex) but in many instances, people do what they're told not to do. For some reason, some of us hate condoms and get infected with various diseases. One gets an STD from another and then they infect someone else. Then they keep this shit a secret and as the hands in worship services go up and as the offering plates get full, people are a walking petri dish in Jesus' name (especially in the black gay/bi-sexual male and heterosexual black female communities-i.e. - CDC).

And this leads to my next point, child abuse......

What this mother did to her kids is fucked up but it's just an open door to what's going on in the black community. The extension cords, the brutal beat downs, the verbal abuse, the sexual abuse, impoverished living arrangements, crime, credit fraud against under aged children, and high rates of single mothers; all in the black community. Some of these products are residual effects from the generational cycles laid upon us since slavery. My question is, when is it going to be addressed?

There are a bunch of other situations prevalent in our community I don't have the time to touch on. I decided to put these on the table because these three different types are fucking up our bodies, our minds, our hearts, and our spirits. We're allowing sensationalized media, traditions, and bandwagon views keep us from telling the truth; hell, being the truth. And God isn't going to come off his/her throne to save us. Stop believing in fairy tales. It's time for us to take off the iron masks from our heads and stop being silent. It's time for us to be logical and reasonable. Take it from a man who's fighting to unravel himself from being a nigger into a human being. We've got our kids to help in a world, in a society, that makes it hard for us to be and do as we please.

Take Care. DgWo

Silence of The Black Sheep

I've been mulling over this topic for months and touched on it a few times last year. I think today, I'm ready to get down with the get down. Silence of The Black Sheep=Silence in the Black Community.

Last year, a few tragedies occurred with black men killed by (white) cops. These incidents enraged the Black communities to unprecedented levels. Even other races and cultures throughout the world stood with the Black community through organized marches and rallies. However, the two NYPD cops murdered in cold blood didn't get the same love and affection. Some black folks were happy this crazy dude from Maryland drove to NYC and killed them. Some say it's karma for what happened to the black dudes last year. I think this is so insensitive and so hypocritical. Now my tangent begins. Only a few people have talked about this and have said for the Black community to change its ways. Since Sherman's hellbent trail of destruction that lead to the destruction of ATL in the Civil War, black folks have consistently taken on the "40 acres and a mule" mentality. Many of us think, the government owes for 400 years of enslavement plus an added bonus of 150 plus years of brutality by KKK/Neo-Nazi and police. We think we should get the royal treatment and other incentives owed to us without work. We believe (not all of us) that we're the only ones still facing racism and prejudice. This is of course b.s. (talk with some Native Americans still living in reservations, then holler at me). However, we have yet to discuss topics such as the following:

• black on black crime (gang violence, spousal abuse, child abuse, sex abuse, mental abuse, etc.)
• fiscal irresponsibility (got to have the best car, house, wife/husband/children, job, not saving, etc.)
• low self-esteem/self image (which is one of the leading causes of fiscal irresponsibility)
• exploitation of each other (wanting something for nothing through money, time, and talents)
• lack of substantial education (illiteracy-a huge problem)
• religion=Christianity/Islam (division, the breeding ground of psychopath behavior, etc.)
• sexuality (homosexuality=down low, infidelity, fatherless children/boys, etc.)

These listed topics and many more, we still don't like to address. Whenever we do address these issues, the hurt, pain, and loss of life/time has already been done. Never do we get to the place of finding a solution. We're still marching, still having group meetings, and still have religious social club meetings. There's no evident change in the black community. When someone with some balls stands up and says enough is enough, he or she get sideswiped by many and called a heretic or a coon. But my question is, when we going to stop acting like the three monkeys (see, hear, know, speak no evil) and start coming head to head with these issues? When are we going to stop being silent? X and King aren't coming back to save us? You can forget about Sharpton, Farrakhan, and Jackson becoming movers and shakers for this needed change. It's time we as a black community start waking up and come back to God reality. I'm not one of those who are going to be silent when these issues need to be addressed. We've done that too long. Change doesn't come through silence. Change doesn't come always blaming the white man (since they have a higher population rate than black, whites have a higher rate of poverty as well-do your research-don't take my word for it). Change doesn't come covering the social, financial, spiritual, and physical abuses given by others. Change comes when we open our mouths, write down solutions wi plans to achieve them, and execute them one by one. It's time to wake up, take the bloody tape off of our faces and speak. Silence kills.

Til next time.........

Black Folks, It's Time For Something New

Before I get to it with today's blog, I'd like to say RIP to another activist and politician, Marion Barry. Second, I'd like to wish my brother James a happy 20th b-day. Now, let's get to the issues at hand. I mentioned these two men (I see now) for person. During the heyday of the Civil Rights Movement, Marion Barry was one of those dudes who was a "mover and shaker" in this process. Among various other people who I can't name all, he made a lot of contributions to the Black community. Of course, this is over 30-40 years ago. Fast forward to the 21st century, there has been more happening in the Black community. AIDS is still an epidemic. Men on the "Down Low" and still with their women. Young black men and boys getting caught up in the penal system. Violence. The rocky foundation of installing the desire for education. Hip hop of today is uninspiring (sucks). Black churches (religion as a whole no matter what it is) are killing the comprehension and common sense of a super religious people. Financial freedom is becoming a harder thing to achieve when family members are stealing your SSN. The list goes on. One more thing is "igging" me like my name is Chico Debarge, the riots happening in Ferguson, Missouri. It's a damn shame the grand jury has decided to not indict Officer Darren Wilson for killing Mike Brown. If this was anyone else in our society (well, politicians get off all the time for dirty deeds against other citizens), trial proceedings would've been underway. Did they use the dash cam video as evidence to confirm testimonies that are in line with the evidence (well, that's if it was on....or "deleted"). The biggest point, why didn't he tase him than shoot him? < I truly believe common sense and comprehension is leaving American culture do to the "microwave age" we're living in> My thing is, black folks, is this, did you not see this coming? Do you not read the news and see that other happenings in our society within the past 3 years, it takes less than 3 months for a grand jury to decide whether or not to indict someone (if the case isn't a federal case against someone)? Why in the hell are you rioting and holding prayer vigils? Is rioting and prayer to God going to bring some clearly washed away principles of justice to light? While you're rioting, plundering your neighbors' hard earned business, the powers that be are laughing at you saying, "just like black people...." Where are supposed black leaders in this entire situation? Hell, where were you during thr LA riots when two (or three, I can't remember) black dudes pulled out an innocent truck driver and beat hm to death? Does this need to happen again? Does history have to continually repeat itself over and over again until as a black community learn that marches, prayer vigils, and loud talking will change nothing? Don't you think it's time to hold forums on political TV shows and programs to discuss matter on a legal nature? Don't you think it's time to hold all these black preachers of the Christian and Isalmic faiths accountable for not speaking up for the fatherless, impoverished, and poor outside of their four walls, multi-acted kingdoms? Like "Da Revolutionary With Tattoos" (a fellow Carolinian with a blog series on YouTube), I'm not trying to be like Batman, one seeking the spotlight. Oh no, I like my behind the scenes job very well. All I'm saying is, as I've learned from my job, it's time to update our processes of doing things to create a better life. Hopefully by the time my brother, James reaches my age in about 13 years, the black community as a majority will see the light and free itself from the Willie Lynch mentality. Hopefully, his generation will be the change we need in the black community as a whole. It's not time to be rich in material sense, but rich in the mind, soul, and spirit. Only this will excrete positive change. This means us, the X generation (born in the '80s) need to wake up from Facebook talking about bull---- and start sharing our thoughts on matters that will help those after us. Like my 9th grade history said to us then, "we are going to the see the foundations of change in every aspect of American society. We are ones holding the keys are change." Of course, I'm no saint by any means. I'm just as mad as those folks in Ferguson but there's a better way to address this issue than rioting and marching. That BS is sooooooo 1960-1995. Like The Roots said back in '99, " it's time for something new."

Til next time, "The Westbury Bully...."