Coming of Age: The Small Steps

American culture prides itself into "doing it big." Big stage play productions. Big houses. Big cars with new shiny wheels. Big bank accounts. Big amounts of fame to our name. This is what we have been drawn and in my opinion reduced to. I won't lie man, this is how I see. Maybe some of you feel the same, too. In my little two cent opinion, there's nothing wrong doing it big but I do believe there's more to life than this. Many of us have dreams, goals, and all other sorts of aspirations we have for our lives. Maybe it's to be rich or be a headliner on a music show. I don't know. However, we don't see the hidden costs to "doing it big" or becoming one of the greats. It's called steps. Steps, sort of like a project building in Manhattan (peace to my "peeps" in NYC), are many, long, and arduous. Plus, the elevator didn't work. We live in a microwave generation when we expect to go from level one to level 28,0000 divided by 6.2, carry the one (sorry, got that line from the Jamie Foxx Show). We want things to happen now without putting in the work. I did my daily post for my MBA program, a Finance class. One of my fellow students talked about the Occupy Wall Street debacle of last year. He talked about his conversation with a young guy who had big dreams. He had all of these wants and expected at the age of 20something, others should pay him 80k a year. However, the dude didn't have the capital of skills, experience, and character to be an 80k employee. Hmmmm. That's many of us today. We want the finer things in life but have no idea of the costs of time, money, failures, and mistakes we have to experience to get to that level. For instance, one of my good friends from the Army is now a drill sergeant. I remember back in Germany, you knew he was in the building. But we wouldn't hold no punches about the Hades he went through. The disappointments, setbacks, bad decisions, hatred from others (to name a few). I'm pretty sure, it wasn't easy for him to become a drill sergeant. One thing I noticed about him was that he took the steps, the small steps to fulfill his dream. He researched, asked questions, and walked closely with those who stood where he wanted to be. He paid the cost to be the boss. This is what I'm saying, it's okay to think big but do your research. Write it down on how to achieve your dreams. Get with those who've already mastered what you are planning to master. Don't take short cuts. Most importantly, don't despise small beginnings. I hope this helps; I know this is helping reevaluate my lofty dreams and how to achieve them.

Til next time, dgwo.

P.S. - Shout out to SFC Michael "Big Mike" Brown.

References:
Zechariah 4:10 (even those who had to rebuild Jerusalem had to small and rigorous steps to achieve this goal - ok, I'm done).

Coming Of Age: Prioritization

I've been thinking a lot lately over my life. About a couple of weeks ago, I turned 32 and at that moment, life hit me. You see, I've been going through changes, a whole lot of changes. A lot of things I would allow or condone, I don't anymore. A lot of things I used to do, I don't do them anymore. There have been many people I used to hang with, well, we're not that close anymore. It's the natural order of things. Changes. Coming of Age. Now, I've reached a point in my life where I want more out of life. I'm not saying that I'm going to sell my soul over money, things, or fame. I'm saying that it's time to start building an inheritance for my future children, building up my household, investing into other people's lives who are younger than me. It's time for me to start traveling a whole lot more and live a full life. It's time to do all that God has put in my heart. I'm pretty sure you guys feel the same way but many of us wonder how we can get to that place of ultimate fulfillment. It's all summed up in one word, prioritization. For the past couple of days, I've been researching a lot of information through studying the Bible, reading professional comments on certain topics, and talking with my wife. I've come to realize that we Americans and even abroad lack in the skill of prioritization. We love to multitask; meaning, we love to plan out all these lovely ideas and think to do them all at the same time. We love being "busybodies" because we feel like we have something to prove to others (and maybe to ourselves to rid thoughts of regrets/unforgiveness of misdeeds). We love "overstuffing" ourselves (our time) with things so we can feel important or "fulfilled." In all actuality, at the end of the day (a common saying on Love & Hip-Hop - Lol), we feel torn, abused, wrecked, tired, and scattered in our thoughts. We feel worn down, confused, regretful, and lastly unfulfilled. These feelings and more are the result of lack of prioritization. Many of us,  to be honest with ourselves, have no priorities. That's why we're going no where in life. Many of us are multitasking, over-filling our time with things that don't matter. Maybe we've got all these great ideas but do them out of time. We focus on things and people that don't matter. We try to be Superman, saving the entire world or the world of people who aren't trying to save themselves. We try to salvage things that need to be scrapped. We hustle and bussle to the point where we're on the side of the road because we didn't put gas in our cars (let that marinate). We're killing ourselves and keep deceiving ourselves that we're living. We're shaving off years of our mental health and it's going to be one event that will cause us to blow up. Many of us don't even spend time with our family and loved ones because "we have to do this." We abandon our kids, our parents, or a project we know that's really important we continue to neglect. We lack priorities. And most importantly, God is out of our life's equation altogether. Jesus, who is the chief cornerstone is now laying in a field somewhere waiting to put in place to hold our building. Without a foundation built on the rock, the house will crumble. Since He is not number one, all of these other things have taken His place and we wonder why our lives, governments, churches, families, businesses, and communities are in ruins. Today, He's allowing all these crazy laws, environment catastrophes, and relational breakups to happen to get our attention (but many of us have yet to read to text message - Lol). He's telling us, "hey dudes and dudettes, put Me back as first in your life." Once He's first, we should take care of ourselves by cleaning our houses, getting our finances in order, taking vacation time, and treat yourself to video game or something. Then we need to take care of our families as we take care of ourselves. Then it's our job, which is a source of income, and the list goes on. Prioritization is knowing what's the most important, most essential thing that needs to cared for or attended to. Prioritization is nixing those things or people that are time wasters, unimportant, and distracting. Prioritization is realizing we only have one life on this earth and how we need to walk in wisdom more than ever. Yes, others are not going to roll with you when you begin to prioritize your life because many people love "out of course" living. That type of living is for people who'll never be nothing or ever achieve greatness in life. You my friends, are called for greatness and it takes prioritization to achieve it. King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, achieve many great feats. He became rich without measure. He had it all and he kept getting more and more. However, all of his doings put a heavy weight on his mind. His life was spinning out of control. It got to the point when he was becoming more of a pimp than a husband. He started to put more taxes and other burdens on his people because of his ambition. His once blameless life became the hall of shame. He lost the essence of what life is all about and lost himself in the process. His life's tree withered. Then he realized, wow, my life's in shambles. How can I get it back on track? Then he learned one word, vanity. Vanity is more than the love of money and things of this world. It's chasing after something or someone not meant for you. It's something that's going to do more harm than good, even if it is a great benefit for others (but not for you). Solomon learned that his decision to chase after vanity brought misery to his life. That's when he smelled the coffee and started to prioritize his life from the ground (read Proverbs, you'll see). I know I've said a lot here and maybe went on a tangent but that's because I'm tired of living a life without priorities. I hope after downloading this, you'll feel the same way, too. It's unfulfilled and full of regrets. My friends, let's do better. Let's be better. Let's grow up by prioritizing our lives the right way.

Til next time, dgwo

References:
Ecclesiastes 1-3
Proverbs 4
Matthew 6:33

Coming Of Age: Stop Wasting Time

A friend of mine told me a couple of days ago that I'm tired of the foolishness and that I'm ready to live. She was correct. I am tired and ready to live. Most importantly, I'm tired of wasting time (as well as money) on things as well as people that are useless. As cold hearted as it may sound, this is where I am today. I'm making a choice to live and live it abundantly. We as human beings, especially in my weekly surroundings don't see that. Only a few and their tired of life as they have been experiencing it , too. My friends, I've wasted most of my life especially my adulthood (so far) on things and people that are useless. I remember hearing one preacher on a television program share some real talk a out this thing called life. He said the most valuable thing God has given mankind is time. Time worth more than money because it takes time to make it. However, we can't make money or raise our families or work on achieving God's dream in our lives if we waste our time. I've learned throughout these past three years that time will go by quickly always being sucked up by others' drama. We people allow it. I know I have done it for a long long long long time. Recently I made a decision to stop allowing things like fear and stupidity keep me from living that abundant life.  When others see you making that decision they are not going to like you. So what? At the end of our life story we all have to stand before God and tell him what we did with our life that he gave us. Did we travel? Did we help our friends come out of the gang life? Did we start that multimillion dollar business? Did we start a community center to help those who are less fortunate get their education and their computer skills? I decided to live God's dream inside of me and remove every mountain in my way.  My friends, this is our time, the greatest time in earth's history to make a difference. When things are the darkest that's when he light will shine the brightest. So I encourage you as well as myself to stop wasting time. Make something out of your life and don't procrastinate. Let the haters hate because they decided to be lazy but you were diligent to attain what  you want and need in this lifetime. Now that's the abundant life.

Til next time, dgwo.

Reference: 

John 10:10

Coming of Age: Drama Free

Anyone who knows me know I hate drama with a passion. I remember back in the mid 90s how the word drama became related to the word mess. Here is the definition of the word, drama:

Drama -  an exciting, emotional, or unexpected series of events or set of circumstances.

For anyone who has been through childish games with people, drama only stresses out the nerves and destroys patience. Drama destroys relationships. Drama destroys destiny. Drama destroys vision. If you're a person who's about something, I think you hate drama, too. Drama happens when one or some people are going somewhere in life and their supposed "friends" begin to hate on them. Or maybe there's a minor conflict at the job and someone who lacks maturity or foresight takes the conflict to a level where it shouldn't go. Wow. Drama occurs when someone walks too much in their emotions, which leads to selfishness; therefore when someone is trying to "help" them, they get into their emotions. Now everyone is the enemy. Everybody is against them. Everybody is trying to tell them how to live. Drama occurs when people don't communicate with one another. Matter of fact, one side has their arms wide open to the other party. However, the other party (from being a hard-head) refuses to come to a common (meeting) place to handle the situation. Hmmm. Just as Isaiah said, we should come and reason together. People who are addicted to drama start lousy arguments and say stupid things that ignite beef; thereby births drama among two or more parties. I gets real messy. I guess in this day and age, reasoning isn't a part of everybody seasoning (if you feel where I'm knocking). It's sad man because drama in our lives doesn't have to be so. We shouldn't have all these tribal and cold wars amongst each other but we do. We shouldn't be tearing each other down because of lack of communication but we do. Within the past 6 years of my life, the amount of drama I've experienced supersedes what I experienced in all my years in middle school as well as high school. A couple of months, drama made me mad but now, I'm like Shawn Carter; brushing my shoulders off. Nothing good from people who start drama ever comes to the forefront. It's messy. You'll always see people forsake others, even in the time of need and encouragement because they can't let go of drama. If we would learn to be adults (this even go for you kids in the latter part of high school), sit down, humble ourselves, and come to an agreement (even agreeing to disagree -thanks Mrs. Overton), drama becomes nonexistent. Drama loses its place in our lives and allows maturity to settle in our spirit. When the Pharisees were hating on Jesus out of their selfishness and lust for power and fame among the people, they started drama. Everywhere Jesus went to effect change in the lives and thinking of others, here go the Pharisees starting drama. To put this into layman's terms, every time a father is trying to support and be there for his kids, the baby momma is finding some way to sabotage his efforts. Every time an executive of firm is warning his or her conglomerates of poor financial decisions, their out to kill them. Every time a politician stands up to Congress and calls them out for their inappropriate decision-making, other politician cook up dirt from their long buried past to keep them quiet. Drama and trust me, Jesus faced it (and still facing it), too. One day, He stood up in boldness and told the people the time of their spiritual and mental freedom had come through the move of God in Him. Thereafter, the Pharisees stood up  and tried to kill the man. But Jesus was a smooth dude, escaping their clutches, moved through the crowd and disappeared. How did He do this? Through His years of observing maybe what His parents went through and His surrounding society, He knew how to handle drama. Sometimes, we have to learn how to bow out gracefully and let those who continue drama hang themselves. THAT'S RIGHT I SAID. The other side of loving people is allowing them to learn from their mistakes. Sometimes, watching a bunch of Pharisees killing themselves (not literally) doesn't feel like an act of love but it is. That's who we learn; its through our experiences. So, as this blog comes to a close, I'd like to tell all me people out there who are ready to move forward in life, travel the world, start a business, getting married, writing that book, and running that ministry, be drama free. It's the best thing to be. And when you start thinking like that, no type of drama will harm thee (get it, it's a rhyme). As for Mr. and Mrs. Overton, we're going to do just that, be drama free. And to all you haters and drama-makers, grow up already, stop keeping drama going, and let God set you free. This is what coming of age is all about, being drama free.

Til next time, dGwO

Reference:
Luke 4:16-32

Coming of Age: Learning From Life's Lessons

It's me again, friends. It's been a while. Since the last time I posted something "fresh", I've been in a couple of battles within this war called "adult" life. Being an adult is more than making money everyday on the job, having the freedom to do what you want, and making your own decisions. Being an adult is having some sort of basis or "foundation" to stand on. It's about having facts or truth that will help guide you in what James Brown called "A Man's World." It's a cold one, too. Throughout these past two months, I've been on a journey and man, it's been a long one. A couple of days ago, a good friend of mine and I were talking about some real issues. Then, wham, a thought came to my head. It was called "Coming of Age." What is coming of age? Coming up, I remember listening to a song Jay-Z had on his first LP "Reasonable Doubt" that had the same title with Memphis Bleek (don't act like you guys never heard it). The moral of that song was the younger dude's need to come up, grow out of some things and grow into some things. Now, I'm not saying we chase after that dollar because the love of money is the root of all types of evil, which many of us thirst for (1st Timothy 6:10). What I am saying is that we need to seek to get better. Our attitudes, our ways, our thinking, our associations, and paths. We learn to come of age or mature when we learn and meditate on life's lessons occurring in our lives. One thing that I love about God is that He allows us to experience the good, the bad, and the ugly to draw our attention to what's really important. About ten plus years ago, my focus was copping that new Cam'ron joint, getting blitzed after work, and chasing after women. Fast forward to 2013, my focus is on serving God, getting my financial house in order, taking care of my wife, and building my career. Things within these past ten plus years have caused me to change my focus. They've caused me to grow up. The last time I was in B-more, one of the most meaningful conversations I had was with my Jermaine (LaVar to some). Seeing all of his scars help make him become the business man he is today. Experience. Some people believe that we can actually escape the hard times but that's further from the truth. God sort of directs our path to those harsh experiences to put our trust in Him and to move forward from the foolishness. Have you ever seen 30, 40, 50, or older people still act like middle school kids? The answer is that they never learned to mature from their life's lessons. I'm planning on not making that same mistake. God allowed Joshua to see all that Moses did and what he experienced. One thing was for sure, he saw his mentor miss out on the "promise" given by God to Israel. Joshua took it to heart and crossed that river. Although things was perfect in the promised land, he lived out the promise given to him. He didn't make the same mistakes as Moses because he learned from life's lessons. How many of us are learning from life's lessons? If we don't we'll never grow. Those things and people (or those jokers) will continually frustrate you until you kill your own dreams and goals. My friends, let's learn from our lessons and our experiences. Let's grow, let's mature, let's be counted among the eagles that soar about this earth's worthless drama. You know what I'm saying?

Til next time, DgWo

Reference:
Joshua 1
Romans 5: 1-5