TRIGGERS

I had to catch myself while I was driving down the road from work today. I had to do some more mindfulness techniques to keep my anger at bay when I got home. Of course, I talked with my beautiful wife about some thoughts in my head and eventually, those angry thoughts subsided. Thank God. I was about to blow. As I was going this mental tug of war in my mind, a thought came to mind, "so how is this thought working for you?" All I can say to myself was, "not that great." Then another thought came to mind, "so, what are you going to do about it?" I chose to talk about it and began the process of letting those thoughts go that wanted me to continue engaging in the mental tug of war. David won. Any other out there ever or going through a mental tug of war? Matter of fact, let me ask a better question, does anybody out there have some "triggers" squeezing in their life? I think so, even if you don't want to admit it. People can pray and fast all they want but the triggers will always be there. No matter how young, old, rich or poor, something in life will always touch us in a certain way that will sort of, if not, piss us off. It's the truth we don't want to read. A trigger maybe seeing someone that screwed us in the past. Maybe it's times of depression that lead us to run to certain addictions. The stress of meeting production at work drives us to the nearest bar or strip club. Triggers are something that will stay with us for the rest of our life and we have to learn how to deal with them when the gun is in our hand. Are we gonna "pull the hammer" or will we put the gun on safety and put it back in the holster?

I'm telling y'all, I'm trying, I'm really trying to not to pull out the gun in the first place. Sometimes, man, sometimes it's hard as hell.

But it's all about choices, right? We have to build up the mental fortitude to do the right thing, even when we feel it's right to pull the trigger. My father used to refer to me the "think first before you shoot" method. Through months and months of counseling for almost a year, I'm building the skills to keep myself from pulling the trigger (not as much, I still pull sometimes). At that moment, when I just want to cuss somebody out, knock somebody out, flip the bird when someone cuts off on the road, or get a traffic bill from one of those red light camera deals, I go straight into mindfulness. If I don't, the part of the world my presence is in isn't going to like me very much.

Think of it like this, what if we give in to the urge to pull the trigger, look at the damage we may inflict. Some of us are holding twelve gauges, other desert eagles. Either way, some is going to get hurt and the price we carry is feeling the after shock of our actions.

Do you feel me?

Til next time, my friends.......

How To Know When You're Being Used

I want to ask everyone this question, who out there likes to be used by people?

Ok, let me ask another question, do you like people using you to better themselves?

Is it hitting home....Maybe not. Ok. Do you think it's right for someone to use you under the false pretenses of friendship/relationship/partnership?

Now, if anyone of you like being used as an object only good for a particular moment, opportunity, or bank withdrawal, you're a dotard (a foolish person). I don't want to hurt your feelings or offend anyone (especially those who like "bondage/slavery" of "any kind"), but it's time for one of life's students take you to school. I don't know much but I'll tell you this, the 13th amendment of the United States Constitution "abolished slavery and involuntary servitude, unless one has committed a crime." In laymen terms, we're all free men and all deemed equal unless we break the law.

However, some of us don't know this and have subjected ourselves to menaces of our society. Have you ever noticed people in relationships (of any kind) where one is dominant over the other? The dominant is vain, smart, and insatiable looking for his or her next prey. The prey they look for are people who are unsure of themselves and like the "Bag Lady", carry a lot of  issues in their life. The prey is looking for shelter, a place to belong, and searches for a person or people to accept/lead them. The dominant sees pass the flaws and weaknesses of the prey and sees the potential "income" he or she will gain. So, they make their move. The prey is accepted as a friend or pseudo family member, especially in the Black community as brother, sister, or "cuz." The prey feels he or she is in a great place in their life, full of purpose, full of life, and full of adventure. The dominant teaches them various lessons on life, gives them "opportunities" to grow, and introduces them to a couple of more "dominant" friends. However, the prey doesn't know the dominant is taking from them what is God given, time, gifts, and individuality. Although the prey is being "nourished", the dominant is really using them. As time goes by, the dominant is going here, there, and everywhere. Their cars get more and more "elaborate" and their lifestyle more luxurious. The prey continues to give, give, and give more; yet they get less, less, and very less back. As the dominant is "successful" to the full, the prey's life is dearth. The time comes when the prey's "resources" are spent, the dominant "slays" them and moves on to the next one. Does the prey get a thank you. No, they get a swift kick in the ass and a "gurl/bwoy bye" verbal $h!t card to match.

David, what in the hell are you talking about?

I'm giving you a quick abstract/concrete literary painting of how we as people allow others to use up until there's nothing left.

Before I close this one out, let me give you some hints:

1. It's all about you supporting their dreams with you money and time.

2. They get you to think/say your selfish because you're trying to get a piece of the pie.

3. They keep harassing you until you give into their demands to what they want from you. 

4. They get "out the pocket" with you to make you fearful of them and to continue supporting their "habits."

5. You show all your admiration and love to them but they never give none to you.

6. They never show you gratitude, especially when/after they've used you up.

7. They're already "on to the next one..."

Like Nas said, "it ain't hard to tell....." Stop letting people use you before you get used up.


Til next time, my friends......

You Only Live Once, So Live

How's it going friends? I just wanted to drop some gems on this great Sunday evening. I've had some great conversations with my beautiful wife and friends about life. Wow. Life is short these days. One minute your walking down the street or shopping at the mall and then bam, your life is changed or over. I remember someone said something to me that still makes a lot of sense, "you only live once." Ain't that the truth....the greatest gift God has ever created is human life. Believe me it is and it astounds me how so many of us let it waste away. Each of us, good and evil people have things in life we ought to accomplish. Some of us do, some of us don't even try. Those who want to live life to the fullest make it happen while others just sit on their asses waiting on someone to carry them. "Faith without works is dead" is what a great said. I can say for myself, there are a lot of things that I'd like to do. I understand that I will need t take risks to see certain things happen. My wife calls me a turtle and boy isn't she right. I think the main thing that keeps many of us living life to the fullest is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Fear of what others will say about you and your endeavors. Fear of having to go at it alone. But what is the solution to fear, faith. We must learn to believe in ourselves that if a goal or dream is in our heart, God put it there in the first place. This requires a steadfast confidence and determination to be all you can be and do all you can do. It's always an easy thing to go at it all the way but in the end, it's worth. So we can stay where we are and be comfortable. Or we can move on to become great with our friend mister uncomfortable tagging along. Live life on your own terms, silence those voices of doubt, and live life to the fullest. YOLO...so live...

Til next time......

The Hypocrisy of America's Two Dominant Religions

I've been fighting whether or not to write this blog but I won't be able to sleep tonite or think straight in the future until I share my thoughts. <I'm known to shoot first and ask questions later...> I recently saw or came across a picture of a gay couple fixing their kids' hair. As I looked through Twitter and Facebook (mostly Facebook), most people were throwing Bible scriptures out there. Usually, these folks feel the need to show and share their allegiance to the world as "ministers of Christ" to a "sinful world." Of course, I've been keeping my eyes on the ISIS/Charlie Hebdo situation occurring in Europe and the Middle East. The senseless killings of innocent people, men, women, and children in the name of "Allah." Then it hit me this Tuesday, Christianity and Islam, or the people who practice these two religions (for the most part) are hypocrites. So, before I go any further, let me post what Merriam-Webster's Dictionary defines the word, hypocrisy:

Hypocrisy:  the behavior of people who do things that they tell other people not to do : behavior that does not agree with what someone claims to believe or feel or a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not; especially  :  the false assumption of an appearance of virtue or religion

Now, I know I'm a hypocrite, was a hypocrite, and will probably be a hypocrite for the rest of my life in certain issues of life. I really want to focus on these two religions that dominate American culture. Of course, Christianity is the most dominate religion because it was brought across to the Americas since the 15th century from the Spaniards, the British, and the list goes on. Fast forward the 20th and 21st century, Christianity has left a foul taste in the mouths of many people from the learned to the unlearned. The biggest hypocrisy we can find in Christianity today is the financial empires of churches, pastors, doctrines, and twisted usages of the Bible to support unrealistic views of the Charismatic movement (thanks to Azuza Street alias The Occult Revival). People who practice this religion (not all of course, there are good, peaceful, and open minded Christians out there) love to quote scriptures and gut check people who are dealing with addictions, living a homosexual/transgender lifestyle (although many of them are active in "Christian/holy music", or "secular" music artists. However, when reports of a pastor with AIDS sleeps with multiple women in his congregation, churches operating as 501c3 non-profit organizations making profit (through tithes and offerings), and be exploited by politicians to stay in the Senate/Congress, nobody says nothing. The same we can say for those in the Islamic religion (not all of course, there are good, peaceful, and open minded Muslims out there) who love to quote the (probably non-canonical) scripture commanding Muslims to "kill infidels, Jews, etc. in the name of Allah, and through self sacrificed promised "virgins in heaven." However, when people are murdering innocent people for drugs, power, control, and respect, killing outed gay Muslims (yet homosexuality is an accepted practice in "certain" countries-I know, I've been to a few), and the richer get richer and the poorer get screwed, nobody says nothing. I'm at a point in my life asking God and myself, are these religions even come from you? Are they an invention of men to control the masses of people looking to belong to something or some association to gain an identity? I see hypocrisy from these two religions, or maybe I say the cult leaders who lead other "proselytes" to become "twice the devil in hell as they are." It's funny though, knowing both the Bible and Koran to a certain degree, they both share similarities. The few Christians and Muslims I've seen across the world from Europe to Qatar to California, I've seen nothing but humility, love, and firm stances denouncing the hypocrisy riddling these religions. I think the solution to all these "mainstream" hypocrisies found in Christianity and Islam is holding more open forums. Let's get some good and bad leaders/teachers/expositors of these religions together in their perspective places in a place for the public to come (for free) and deal with these hard issues. Let the people having questions and distaste for both share their thoughts. I know that hypocrisy will never go away with people practicing these two religions as long as people pass down certain traditions from person to person and from generation to generation (sounds like a virus or other communicable diseases-doesn't it?). In no way am I trying to bash these two religions because both of these religions have done great things for our society to be where we are today. Many have benefited and are living better lives. However, I believe it's time to deal with the hypocrisies that in time will put more and more people in the red (debt) than in the black (profit).

Think about it, my friends, I can't say it all.....

Til next time.........

Decisions, Decisions

Decisions -  "a choice that you make about something after thinking about it : the result of      deciding: the ability to make choices quickly and confidently"


We all have decisions to make. Right now, I can only speak for myself, I've "one" I need to make and that's going to change the total course of my future. The decision making process is not an easy one when you're an adult, about twice as hard when your a military vet. Then let's add the ongoing out processing from living a "cult" lifestyle for over a decade. Now, you see an opportunity that will be the icing on the cake for a new beginning. This is the mirror that's in front of me and I believe I've made the decision. However, the decision I've made came with much consultation with loved ones and then I had to face my inner self saying, so what now David? Adulthood, boy, my parents warned me.

So, where am I headed with this?

As adults, even some of us young folks who are handling the load of responsibility have to deal with decisions daily. Lawyers, doctors, therapists, business owners, athletes, parents, abandoned kids living on the street, musicians. We all have to deal with making decisions. What we wear. What we spend. Where we go. How we make music. Why do believe in certain principles. When we need to make a decision. Some times, we have to make decisions very fast, other times, we have an allotted time to make decisions. At my job, we are trained to utilize the tools we've been given to make decisions on cases. Some times, we have to consult with others to help us make decisions so we can move a case forward (that might be a group of us, these cases are hard sometimes). Some times, the cases are easy and it's first nature to process. Other times, it make take us days to finish a case. So it is with this thing we call life. Some decisions are easy and requires no stress. Other decisions, well, those may require a couple of phone calls and maybe a glass of Mascato. Yet a decision must be made and only you can make it. They got it so control for us at work that we have no other choice be to work the case given to us unless our bosses take it from us. So it is in life. Things like opportunities, money woes, changes in relationship statuses, and relocation decisions will have to be made and won't go away until those decisions are made.

I know and you know, we all have been given cards to play. No matter how good or bad we got a hand, we have to play them. God has given us so many resources and prayer may not be one them when we need to make an on the spot decision.

Choose well....I know I have to real soon......

Til next time, The Big O......

Don't Let People Take Your Manhood

Today's blog is applicable to both men and women but it's geared for the men. Now, what I'm about to say is coming from personal experiences. Some of these experiences I've had are down-right embarrassing but they helped me get my "manhood" back. I remember my dad about 21 years ago told me something that I hold dear to this day. You have to know who you are and be a man. Being a man isn't about how much money you make, the car you drive, the material things. It's about your character, your integrity, and your willingness to stand up for yourself. Never let people punk you no matter what place they hold in society or how many obstacles are against you. It took me a while but I've reached the point where I've become a "dead man." What does this mean? This means to share your opinion, do whatever is in your heart to do to achieve your goals, and to let people know you're not the one to mess with. But some of us haven't reached the "dead man" status yet.... For example:

• Dudes who are being "ran over" by a controlling, manipulating woman (usually through the promised rewards of food, commitment, and man's favorite dish, sex)
• An individual being bullied by someone in a position of power to keep them silent about a situation
• Intimidated by people who actually intimidated by you
• Being coerced to do something you believe in your heart is wrong

These few situations can "emasculate" us in serious ways and do some serious damage to our mental prowess. For some of us, we'll never recover but the knife of people's actions and words toward us went too deep. That's the God's honest truth. But what do or should we do when people try us? We stand on our two feet, crack our knuckles, and get ready for confrontation. Without confronting folks face to face attempting to tear down our manhood, we lose it. However, when we go to war with these folks, we maintain our manhood. Yeah, actions and words to tear us down will leave some scars but at least your manhood is in tact. The story of Jezebel has been my life's story, dealing with people who resemble that crazy lady in the Bible. Every time I didn't go head to head with these people, I was emasculated. Every time I didn't question folk's malicious motives, every time I didn't guard the keys to my life's success, I was emasculated. I didn't even put a fight and it cost me a lot of time I can't get back (despite what a overused and misquoted passage from the Book of Joel states). But now, my manhood is back and my gun is loaded. I'm not afraid to blast my tool (my words of course) to anyone else who tries to emasculate me again. However, we must know who and what we are no matter how people may look at us. We are not a door mat, we are gifted and beloved people in the eyes of God (no matter our color, culture, or creed). Don't let people walk into the house of your life and tear it down from the inside out. 

Well, I think I'm tapped for tonite. I hope this post helps one person. 

Til next time, my friends, chow......

Say No To Drugs 2015

During my 15 minute breaks at work (normally my afternoon one), I mess with one my friends, "K-Rob." Since last year (after the Michael Brown shooting), we got this inside joke we tell each other concerning "his" black folks (I say I'm not black but brown, that's "my philosophy"-BDP, circa '88). We get it in but one headline he told me about had both of us dying laughing on the floor. He told me about this dude (of course a black dude) in Baltimore walking into a police station armed telling them he was "sent" to test the station's security. Man, I was on the floor laughing and K-Rob was about to have a heart attack. Anyone who knows about "B-more" knows some of those black folks are on some other s---. As I heard this story, I envisioned this dude had to be high and when I read about this story, dude was holding weed and coke (he probably "got high on his own supply-10 Crack Commandments). As I departed from K-Rob's desk heading to my section across the hallway, it hits me, "Cocaine's a helluva drug." Not only coke but there are many substances we as Americans lace our system with, physically, emotionally/mentally, and spiritually,. Physically, our bodies are laced with controlled substances, alcohol, and painkillers, Emotionally/mentally, our minds and psyche are laced with pipe dreams, delusions, and dumb s---. Spiritually, our souls/spirits are laced with belief systems to the main population of America seem weird and out of touch with God reality. This isn't a shot at the black community only, its to all of us. It's crazy, man, that after 20-30 years later, Nancy Reagan was right, "Say No To Drugs." Whatever drugs fits our fancies, they can destroy our lives and everything that's connected to us. Just like this young man in Baltimore (who's probably going to get 15-25 years), drugs jacks up our thought processes and we end up dealing with some stiff consequences. Once the effects are over, we're going to be like, "what the f--- did I do?" Detox is a mother------.

But some of us who leave "unscathed" look back and say to ourselves, "what the f--- was I thinking?"
I've had a couple of epiphanies recently.

I hope you learn from this article posted below (and get a laugh out of it as I did).

Say no to drugs, whatever they be....

Till next time......

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/crime/blog/bs-md-ci-police-station-gun-20150106-story.html