"Who The Cap Fits"

Some of who see the title of today's blog may wonder, "What the heck is this?" It's the title of an old Bob Marley track, which is really really popular in Jamaican, blues, and rock n roll cultures. It's a real song because it talks about how we as people have to be careful who we trust. I can tell you all that David O has been crossed by folks so many times and I've done the same to many good friends, too. A double cross of a friend or loved one comes in so many packages. People will "eat and drink with you", smiling in your face. Their words are "smoother than butter" but in their heart, they have "war in their heart." People will encourage you one minute but as soon as they congregate with their their circle of vultures, they dog you out, telling Peter, Paul, Pam, and Precious your most personal business. When you come around these same people or others you are cool with (some people, for years and years), folks look at you funny and treat you different. People start getting offended by rumors of what you said (the result of he say, she say = gossip) and start accusing you of things you didn't do. Oh, here's a better one, maybe you shared some confidential information and that same person runs and tells that info that was for their eyes only. Now the truth you spoke from the heart is now transformed into a pool of lies. Better yet, you get blasted in front of a group of people for no reason and now people are looking at you as the enemy (having no idea that there is always two sides to one story). Wow. As the late great Rastafari poet stated, "your worst enemy can be your best friend..." So true and I've come to find that out in very recent weeks. I remember a time when my grandfather, the late great Jamss Williams, a deacon, got his name dragge through the mud. Although I was 7 or 8, I sensed what was going on. In all my years, I never saw my grandmother so furious because those "ignorant people". (Sorry can't use the n word,  some of you may get offended) called their house phone accusing them of things they didn't do. Back mouthing them, shoot, it was like they was stalking them and provoking them to anger. You know, those fake church folks who "call" themselves Christians (but ain't nothing like the Christ). She almost slammed the phone but my granddaddy, in his Fonzi (being cool) mode, sat there in his recliner, feet kicked up, remote in hand, sweet iced tea in seat cup holder, and Cosby on the TV screen said, "Laura, don't worry about them, call down, God will get the,." She huffed and puffed a bit but walked away into the kitchen know he was rite and cooked us a mean North Carolina style catfish dinner. That's how we have to be, as Samuel Jackson would say "Cool." People are going to people. Only God can change the heart of men. Right now, we're seeing betrayal, dishonesty (I'm bad at this), manipulation, jealousy (like Ghostfsce Killah said in Bulletproof Wallets circa 2001), and maliciousness at an all time high. But we got townies up and know who we're dealing with it. It may be a supervisor, teacher, fellow employee, business, pastor, parent, sibling, or even your best friend you'll throw "javelins" to kill you, your reputation,  and your density. But we have to be like that man David of Bethelehem, "behaving wisely." As one of my mentors used to tell me, life is like a game a chess, you've got to think two or three steps ahead to defeat your opponent. When these jokers try to push your buttons to get you mad, keep calm and realize they are trying to get you to help assassinate your character. When sensing your people about to "sun you", learn to love those jokers with a long handed spoon. When you get hit up, don't stay in that relationship place, or situation when a way of escape has been given to you, be like David run (even if you are out in the wilderness by yourself). When you see the cap of Saul on top of somebody's head, you better get wise and know you've got a war on your hands. Evil will use anyone to destroy all that's good in your life. "Life can be unjust and you won't know who to trust" sometimes but know God is the one that sticks closer to you than any brother. Plus, His put His characteristics in others on this planet (no matter who they are, where they're from, or what they believe in) to keep you moving forward in life. My friends, all I'm asking us to do is get wise so we won't die but live.

Til Next Time....

Reference:
1st  Samuel 18
Proverbs 18:24
Psalms 55:21
...and Bob Marley...

Sometimes, You Have To Lose To Win

Now, for some of you music buffs, the title of this blog may sound very similar to lyrics of one great vocalist, Fantasia. If you think about the title, it really does make sense. Actually, it's one of the key principles of Jesus' teachings. If you look back over your life, you see how you won more or gained more by losing people, places, and things. It's a proven fact that for us to win we have to lose something. For the next couple of weeks, my posts may sound like I'm venting but actually, writing helps me face God reality of what "this thing called life" (I stole that quote from Prince, too) is all about so I can continue to move forward and not go back. Right now, my beautiful wife Dionn and I are experiencing a brand new word that we've heard for years and years but never fully experienced; freedom. However, for us to obtain this freedom, we had to lose a whole lot. Some of friends and family know our situation and understand where we're at had to come with a price. We had to shed responsibilities, attitudes, false belief systems (not instituted by Christ), and pathways not conducive to live of free life. Free from what others say about you and what you're doing for their validation. Freedom from legalism. Freedom from elitism. Freedom from lies and manipulation. And the list goes on (you all know that's my second favorite line). Once we decided to get from all that I've named and unnamed, burdens started to lift off our lives. Of course, there is a pain of losing all those things and relationships that we once fostered now have put away (Ecclesiastes 3 - a great read about time). It's all for the best and I'm loving it. In American society, we are indoctrinated that losing is next to sinful (especially in the church, it's blatantly and wrongfully considered sin). Losing is considered weakness. Losing is considered not being able to be cool with the in crowd like that song by Rare Essence (peace to my DC people). Losing is like another form of quitting or of inferiority. Wow. How stupid have we become to think this! But losing, if looked at the wrong way is winning. To bring some of you super deep people in the world, let me use a layman's term or real life event. About 3 years ago, the Miami Heat led by the other big three (you know there names) faced the Dallas Mavericks in the NBA Finals. Case and point, they had schooled like Money Mayweather did to his last few opponents. I remember seeing Chris Bosh crying because so much pressure was put on them by the media (Stephen A Smith was clowning them) and by American basketball society. They lost horribly. However, their loss only made them become a better team and now they are two time repeat NBA champions. On another level, Jesus is our perfect example of being a "loser" who did lose everything but achieve a status by His Name alone to have all power in heaven, in earth, and under the earth. He lost loved ones, some of his pupils turned on him, and even the respect of those He may have helped. He endured the burdens but so the joy before Him. He, Miami Heat, and so many others in the past as well as the present have lost so much if not all but gain their ultimate prize; a win. It's funny, isn't it? Now let your haters hate while you bask in the glory of all you achieved through your losses. Sometimes, those jokers who drag your name thru the mud thru gossips and jealousy but smile in your face are the same ones you need to cut off (if you don't they'll suck the life out of you). My friends (my favorite saying), don't be afraid to lose because "at the end of the day", you bet your bottom dollar, you will win.

Til Next Time....

References:

Hebrews 12:1-2 and Stepjen A Smith talking about Lebron (on YouTube hilarious)

New Beginnings

I'm glad this year is coming to a close. Really glad. This year especially the latter part of this year, a lot of changes in my perception, acumen, and life has occurred. I've learned that this year I moved from living in the fear of religion, other people's thoughts, and "saving face" to a life of newness and freedom. To be honest, I had enough of a lot of things. As one of old mentors (Paul Williams - RIP) used to tell me when he was teaching me how to play pool ( while kicking my behind in pool), "when you get tired of getting beat down, you'll fight back." It's funny, because I showed him a thing or two, and "he didn't like that at all." Haha. This year, my wife and I had to fight to get our lives back that was sucked dry by things of little to no value. For myself, I broke out of a lot of manipulation, coercion, bitterness, lies, foolishness, churchiness, and various types of abuse. This has been the year I fought back and won. Have people lately been "offended, hurt, shocked, etc.?" Yep. But where I'm from, there's an old saying that says, "real recognize real." When other know there's a change in you and know its time for you to move forward, there are going to be two responses, support or suppression. When the Civil Rights Movement of the 1950s and 1960s occurred, leaders in that era faced a lot suppression at first but then received support. So many other happenings in history I can name but don't have the time (for if we don't know our history, we will repeat it - Mr. King - 1995). I've faced and experienced a lot of suppression but now I'm free from it. I can finally be who I'm supposed to be and don't need anyone's validation except for God's. Thus, I'm walking in my new beginning. Before we walk in a new chapter, we must finish the preceding one. Everyone and everything that was in one chapter can't go into the next chapter of life. If they do, you might as we'll stop writing your book (I.e.- stop living). Something I've learned is that you van t put new things in old situations, it just doesn't work. I've tried and many times this year, I've failed. But I've learned my lesson. New beginnings means starting fresh, starting over. This may include changing the way you believe things, changes I'm relationships, job changes, etc. Change is inevitable. As human beings, we are not supposed to be the same, in the same place, or in the same situation. If we stay the same, how can God Himself bless us with newness. Think about that. Right now, I'm going thru changes and though some don't like it, I really don't care. I understand evolution, the metamorphosis of the human life. We are called to go from one change to another change. This is how we experience new beginnings. We must prepare for them and when the time comes, roll with it. Noah had to prepare an ark and though many people didn't hear him, all the animals and 8 folks heard the call for change. Only 8 of them survived and were blessed with a new beginning. For new beginnings to happen, the old has to get phased out. Word of advice, if people who know you try to deride you, tell them and yourself, "what you think about me and my decision is none of my business." My friends, embrace the new beginnings with joy and only walk with those who will support you wholeheartedly without judgement, inconsideration, gossip, and without jealousy. Well this is it my friends, 2013 is out. 2014 is in. Til next time, esta luego.


References:
Read the Bible, history books, and wisdom from the old school.

Don't Let Life Pass You By

There's nothing worse than an unfulfilled life. That's nothing that my momma or daddy told me; it's something I've learned. Many of us let grand opportunities for personal, financial, educational, career, and spiritual successes slip by because of fear. Sometimes, we fear of being successful because of what others will say or think about us. Or maybe that these successes require much work after achieving to maintain them. So many factors we can weigh in to make since of our foolishness. That's including me. I remember growing up how I used to see the old schools play with us young bucks countless games of 21. Back then, I used to wonder, why are they scrounging to make ends meet for themselves? Why are they providing or attempting to provide a better life for themselves and their families? Easy answer, they let life pass them by. At that time, they were trying to relive their glory days through pummeling us at games of 21 taps (dudes from Raleigh know what I'm talking about). Lately, I've found myself thinking and thinking hard about my own life. God, haven't I let my 32 years of life pass me by. Being caught up by foolishness around me. Being distracted and embattled by drama. Allowing fear, doubt, and procrastination hinder various forward movements to obtaining the five areas of success. But today, I've made up in my mind be and do what God has laid out for me. As I learned earlier, you can't be afraid to be you because God has predestined you to do and be something above all you can ask or think (Ephesians 3:20). Wow, what a statement. Here's the kicker. We've got to make the choice of not letting our lives go to waste. As Paul would say, not frustrating the grace of God. Jesus is the perfect example of not letting his life pass him by. Every opportunity, every moment he took hold of and became extremely successful. No matter how the Pharisees tried to throw him over cliffs. No matter how many times the disciples said or did things out of selfish ambitions. He continually moved forward and became the greatest success story of our world history. My question is to you, will you let life pass you by? Or will you waste and later on be filled with regrets? I hope this makes you think. I know it does for me.

Til next time (and not a long time from now, my friends, I promise) dgwo

References:

Acts 10:38

Coming of Age: The Small Steps

American culture prides itself into "doing it big." Big stage play productions. Big houses. Big cars with new shiny wheels. Big bank accounts. Big amounts of fame to our name. This is what we have been drawn and in my opinion reduced to. I won't lie man, this is how I see. Maybe some of you feel the same, too. In my little two cent opinion, there's nothing wrong doing it big but I do believe there's more to life than this. Many of us have dreams, goals, and all other sorts of aspirations we have for our lives. Maybe it's to be rich or be a headliner on a music show. I don't know. However, we don't see the hidden costs to "doing it big" or becoming one of the greats. It's called steps. Steps, sort of like a project building in Manhattan (peace to my "peeps" in NYC), are many, long, and arduous. Plus, the elevator didn't work. We live in a microwave generation when we expect to go from level one to level 28,0000 divided by 6.2, carry the one (sorry, got that line from the Jamie Foxx Show). We want things to happen now without putting in the work. I did my daily post for my MBA program, a Finance class. One of my fellow students talked about the Occupy Wall Street debacle of last year. He talked about his conversation with a young guy who had big dreams. He had all of these wants and expected at the age of 20something, others should pay him 80k a year. However, the dude didn't have the capital of skills, experience, and character to be an 80k employee. Hmmmm. That's many of us today. We want the finer things in life but have no idea of the costs of time, money, failures, and mistakes we have to experience to get to that level. For instance, one of my good friends from the Army is now a drill sergeant. I remember back in Germany, you knew he was in the building. But we wouldn't hold no punches about the Hades he went through. The disappointments, setbacks, bad decisions, hatred from others (to name a few). I'm pretty sure, it wasn't easy for him to become a drill sergeant. One thing I noticed about him was that he took the steps, the small steps to fulfill his dream. He researched, asked questions, and walked closely with those who stood where he wanted to be. He paid the cost to be the boss. This is what I'm saying, it's okay to think big but do your research. Write it down on how to achieve your dreams. Get with those who've already mastered what you are planning to master. Don't take short cuts. Most importantly, don't despise small beginnings. I hope this helps; I know this is helping reevaluate my lofty dreams and how to achieve them.

Til next time, dgwo.

P.S. - Shout out to SFC Michael "Big Mike" Brown.

References:
Zechariah 4:10 (even those who had to rebuild Jerusalem had to small and rigorous steps to achieve this goal - ok, I'm done).

Saturday Edition: The Sinking Ship

I've been reading a lot about what's going on our beloved nation. The break up of Defense of Marriage Act. The great city of Detroit filing for bankruptcy. The "I told you so" verdict of the Zimmerman trial. Congress' failure to make a deal to prevent the rise of student loan rates. The now rebuttal to "double jeopardy" because of the Zimmerman verdict. The lowered standards of education, especially in Texas, my new home state (but I'm a Wolfpack N.C. man at heart, Lol). All these things and more have sort of got me in meditation mode, you know. I'm trying to figure out, how in the world did we get here? Where did all of this chaos come from? For most of us, we can say the old catch phrase, "the devil made me do it." Yeah, the so-called "prince of the power of the air" does have a lot of influence in this world. Even in the garden of Eden, he made Adam turn a blind eye while Eve made a deal with him to become "a god." But do you want to know what I really think, my friends? It's the fragility and darkness of men's hearts that has orchestrated this chaos. How could Detroit, once the premiere city for music, big business, and sports turn into a real life version of "The Walking Dead?" How did a man who knowingly shot a young boy out of prejudice because his appearance rather than his heart get away with murder? How did the "powers that be" influence the jury's decision find him innocent, now opening the door for the Department of Justice to one day decimate "Double Jeopardy" (remember, they couldn't get OJ for the '94 murders so they had to frame him)? How come now everybody is on the bandwagon supporting gay marriage when it's not only the divine law of God but the working of nature that marriage is between a man and a woman (even the people of Mesopotamia knew this-do your research)? Why is it that our now generation is being lied to in their history classes and made to take tests that even their teachers can't pass (hello Texas State Board of Education)? All of these things and many more are the product of allowed chaos? Where is the voice of reason in all this? Where is truth? Where is real justice? Where's the standard? These past few weeks, I've been dealing with a lot of "indecisiveness" in my own life. All of these things happening around. I feel like sometimes, I'm in a sinking ship, sot of like the Titanic. I remember my 9th grade History teacher Mr. King (Enloe High School '95, Raleigh, NC- YayYay!) told us that by the time we get his age, things in law, education, finances, and morality would change. Wow, was that man right. By all means y'all, I'm not a "holy roller" who has an "inverted view" of things. I'm very cultured and I do believe America is that sinking ship. Just like Rome. Just like Ancient Egypt. Just like Babylon. I guess Lecrae was right, "everything is falling." When the world is off course, somebody, just one person has to shake themselves and go back to the One who put things back on course. You know the name. And it's by it that we can be saved, from the sinking ship.

Til next time, Love, peace, and soooooouullllll!  - dgwo

References:
Psalms 82
Acts 4:10-12

Coming Of Age: Prioritization

I've been thinking a lot lately over my life. About a couple of weeks ago, I turned 32 and at that moment, life hit me. You see, I've been going through changes, a whole lot of changes. A lot of things I would allow or condone, I don't anymore. A lot of things I used to do, I don't do them anymore. There have been many people I used to hang with, well, we're not that close anymore. It's the natural order of things. Changes. Coming of Age. Now, I've reached a point in my life where I want more out of life. I'm not saying that I'm going to sell my soul over money, things, or fame. I'm saying that it's time to start building an inheritance for my future children, building up my household, investing into other people's lives who are younger than me. It's time for me to start traveling a whole lot more and live a full life. It's time to do all that God has put in my heart. I'm pretty sure you guys feel the same way but many of us wonder how we can get to that place of ultimate fulfillment. It's all summed up in one word, prioritization. For the past couple of days, I've been researching a lot of information through studying the Bible, reading professional comments on certain topics, and talking with my wife. I've come to realize that we Americans and even abroad lack in the skill of prioritization. We love to multitask; meaning, we love to plan out all these lovely ideas and think to do them all at the same time. We love being "busybodies" because we feel like we have something to prove to others (and maybe to ourselves to rid thoughts of regrets/unforgiveness of misdeeds). We love "overstuffing" ourselves (our time) with things so we can feel important or "fulfilled." In all actuality, at the end of the day (a common saying on Love & Hip-Hop - Lol), we feel torn, abused, wrecked, tired, and scattered in our thoughts. We feel worn down, confused, regretful, and lastly unfulfilled. These feelings and more are the result of lack of prioritization. Many of us,  to be honest with ourselves, have no priorities. That's why we're going no where in life. Many of us are multitasking, over-filling our time with things that don't matter. Maybe we've got all these great ideas but do them out of time. We focus on things and people that don't matter. We try to be Superman, saving the entire world or the world of people who aren't trying to save themselves. We try to salvage things that need to be scrapped. We hustle and bussle to the point where we're on the side of the road because we didn't put gas in our cars (let that marinate). We're killing ourselves and keep deceiving ourselves that we're living. We're shaving off years of our mental health and it's going to be one event that will cause us to blow up. Many of us don't even spend time with our family and loved ones because "we have to do this." We abandon our kids, our parents, or a project we know that's really important we continue to neglect. We lack priorities. And most importantly, God is out of our life's equation altogether. Jesus, who is the chief cornerstone is now laying in a field somewhere waiting to put in place to hold our building. Without a foundation built on the rock, the house will crumble. Since He is not number one, all of these other things have taken His place and we wonder why our lives, governments, churches, families, businesses, and communities are in ruins. Today, He's allowing all these crazy laws, environment catastrophes, and relational breakups to happen to get our attention (but many of us have yet to read to text message - Lol). He's telling us, "hey dudes and dudettes, put Me back as first in your life." Once He's first, we should take care of ourselves by cleaning our houses, getting our finances in order, taking vacation time, and treat yourself to video game or something. Then we need to take care of our families as we take care of ourselves. Then it's our job, which is a source of income, and the list goes on. Prioritization is knowing what's the most important, most essential thing that needs to cared for or attended to. Prioritization is nixing those things or people that are time wasters, unimportant, and distracting. Prioritization is realizing we only have one life on this earth and how we need to walk in wisdom more than ever. Yes, others are not going to roll with you when you begin to prioritize your life because many people love "out of course" living. That type of living is for people who'll never be nothing or ever achieve greatness in life. You my friends, are called for greatness and it takes prioritization to achieve it. King Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived, achieve many great feats. He became rich without measure. He had it all and he kept getting more and more. However, all of his doings put a heavy weight on his mind. His life was spinning out of control. It got to the point when he was becoming more of a pimp than a husband. He started to put more taxes and other burdens on his people because of his ambition. His once blameless life became the hall of shame. He lost the essence of what life is all about and lost himself in the process. His life's tree withered. Then he realized, wow, my life's in shambles. How can I get it back on track? Then he learned one word, vanity. Vanity is more than the love of money and things of this world. It's chasing after something or someone not meant for you. It's something that's going to do more harm than good, even if it is a great benefit for others (but not for you). Solomon learned that his decision to chase after vanity brought misery to his life. That's when he smelled the coffee and started to prioritize his life from the ground (read Proverbs, you'll see). I know I've said a lot here and maybe went on a tangent but that's because I'm tired of living a life without priorities. I hope after downloading this, you'll feel the same way, too. It's unfulfilled and full of regrets. My friends, let's do better. Let's be better. Let's grow up by prioritizing our lives the right way.

Til next time, dgwo

References:
Ecclesiastes 1-3
Proverbs 4
Matthew 6:33