Learning To Live With Regret

One of the best songs Jay-Z ever released to the masses was off his first album Reasonable Doubt called Regrets.

On one of the hooks to the song, he states, "...in order to survive you got to learn to live with regrets."

This is a 26-27 year old dude who had many street shootouts, childhood let downs, and misgivings about the music industry per Jaz-O's rap career. Regrets affect everyone and I don't give a damn who says it doesn't. 

It doesn't matter who or what you are, the wrecking ball of regrets will come banging on our houses from time to time.

Now it's time for me to get personal....

I just found out a very close relative of mine is in the hospital due to health complications. Throughout his life, he's been dealt with a somewhat decent to shitty hand. Family secrets. His abrupt departure from his own family. Sexuality. Loss of loved ones. It's been hard on dude and as he lies on his hospital bed, regrets are beating him down. No matter what people say to him to uplift his spirits, regrets got him walking through the valley of death. No bullshit. The should, would, and could cliche utters in his brain. He thinks about the mistakes he's made as he tries to go to sleep, which lead to sleepless nights. Thoughts of his mistakes further destroys the hope of "salvation" or a better day. Hell, scriptures from the Bible/Koran or New Age terms aren't working. He's in trouble.

And so are many of us. For many of us, regrets disbar us from the forgiveness of others given. Regrets keep our vision stuck on the past; negating opportunities of the present to make a better tomorrow. Regrets are just the results of owing up to our mistakes and adulthood. Some of us succeed while many of us are stuck on the farm of horse shit. Many of who live in regret hide behind of financial successes and religious dogmas but are prisoners of regrets. We never take to the time to address them to survive to thrive. We just survive. 

I struggle with regrets and the best thing I can do is look ahead. All I can do is learn the hard lessons of the past to make me a better person. Man, I've got a lot of work to do. Hopefully, this in some way is applicable to you. Plus, it doesn't hurt to let our armor down and talk with trustworthy friends to explain how we feel. The struggle is real. And it'll last for a lifetime.....

I wish my relative the best and hope he finds the will to fight.

Till next time, my friends.......

Oh yes, Jay-Z's classic "Regrets":   http://youtu.be/lrudMt-28WU

What Is Love?

I've been thinking a lot for a few days now. My beautiful wife Dionn and I had a very honest conversation. I admitted to her last night some things she didn't like but understood. Of course, it was about my old and new religious beliefs. I believe in a higher power many of us call God. I no longer believe in the Christian and its flawed philosophy of how to get closer to God. Maybe from all I've been through for the 24 years of my 33 and half year life, church has changed the way I believe. I told her basically, I'm no longer a Christian (thank God) and more of an agnostic, or just a plain ole theist. Now there is a "differences of opinion" yet I had to tell her this. We have something that exceed relgion, money, politics, and racism. What we have caused men of various races, cultures, and creeds to help bringing hope and healing after the September 11th tragedy. What we have pushes teachers working in a pathetic school system to ensure their students get quality education. It's the force that pushes a rape victim to forgive his or her rapist. It's called love. In Central Texas, a lot of people say they love God and go to church faithfully every Sunday. They read their Bible, speak in tongues, and pray long pretensive prayers. They willingly give large offerings hoping to gain the mothers or fathers love from their pastors and forgiveness from God. However, they can't even love people who leave church from being hurt. Ministers beat on their wives. Pastors take their members' money. The poor, destitute, and homeless become scapegoats of a one time mission session on Thanksgiving to make a church feel good (-Maslows Theory). They say they love God but hate on the "people of the wolrd" due to their abundance of wealth, fame, and accolades. That's not love. That's hate. So, what is love? Love is being genuine, even when you don't like somebody. Love is sticking with those down people, especially during the hard times. Love is forgiveness toward your enemies. Love is taking care of your family first before trying to save the world. Love isn't holy living, love isn't people pleasing, love isn't lying. Love damn sure isn't faking. Love is a force that's transferred and felt. It changes people. It makes people put aside their differences and come to one point of saying, I love you.

That's what love is. It transcends religion, evil, and time. Love is God, God is love, and love benefits the human race.

Til next time my friends.....

The Sorry Nucca$ Association of America

I've been trying to hold this one in for the past couple of days but I need to release the pressure. I am so tired of these sorry niggas or nucca$ (as some say it), I really am. I can't stand the way they lie. I can't stand the way they talk. I can't stand the way they avoid confrontation. I can't stand the way they cut you off for no hot damn reason. I can't stand the way they try to shift blame on others when the blame is on them. I just can't stand it. Thankfully, there's a God in heaven that love these nucca$ unconditionally because I can't (or maybe just won't). You see, I used to be a sorry nucca long ago until I learned a thing or two about being real to self (the good, the bad, the butt ugly). However, the traits of sorry nucca$ disallows them from being real, only fake. It's like, they live in their own fairy tale world or island and won't get out of it. That's why I've titled this blog "The Sorry Nucca$ Association of America" because these joker$ are everywhere we go. Compton. Newark. Chi-Town. Minneapolis. Fargo. San Diego. Miami. Dallas. They reside in all 50 states. They are located on our jobs, in our schools, in our families, and probably some of our best friends. Sorry nucca$ are in a league of their own and care less about the opinions, thoughts, and uncontested truths found in the books of higher learning. They don't care, they only care about getting ahead. They will do whatever it takes to move forward in their lives and step all over you and your dreams to get there. I see this a lot in the Central Texas Area and some of these sorry nucca$ got the nerve to act dignified with it. They act like their poo poo doesn't stink. As "PYT" and The Miz would say, "Really?" Yes, really. It's like they have no conscience about how they treat others, how they manipulate the truth, and how they twist truth that gains a following. These are the same people The Treacherous Three talked about in one of the most famous hooks in hip-hop, "Friends, how many of us have them....someone to depend on?" Mobb Deep came out with "Shook Ones Pt. II" because these sorry nucca$ are really scared of God reality. Jay-Z and Too Short said "It was all good just a week ago" but that's as far (sometime less) a good time with sorry nucca$ last. Hell, Beyonce told these sorry nucca$ to "Listen" but of course, they never do. It would be hard to name the President/CEO of the SNAA because there's so many of them, black, white, Latino, Asian, and Arabian. Rich and poor. Educated and uneducated. I'll tell you this though, SNAA has been around for a long time and the main thing they have in common is their the nonexistence of lack thereof for common sense. In the almost famous sigh of Mr. Walter Lee Hampton II, "huuuuuuuhhhhhh......" No matter how many people tell them their attitude is off, they just don't get it. My hypothesis is this, they never will. Only the test of time will judge me if I'm right or wrong.

I need to drink of water and some lasagna to calm my nerves, my friends....

Till next time, coming to you live from The Un-Sorry Brother$ & Sister$ Association of America........

Are We Our Brother's Keeper?

I reintroduced myself to one of my top five rappers of all time, O.C. I haven't heard his music for over 14 years (yeah, that's a long time). I just finished listening to about every album he's put out. One of my favorites is 2005's Smoke and Mirrors. My favorite joint on there is Brothers Keeper. This song is real to me because I've been a betrayer of friends/family and been betrayed by friends/family. It's one of the deepest daggers to the heart you can ever feel. People you regard as loved ones from friends to family members can turn on you in a second. Some for cash, some for opportunities, others out of jealousy, and others out of confusion. One of the most famous phrases in world history is, "Am I My Brothers Keeper?" Some will say yes I am from a pure heart and others say it to mask their wicked heart. I guess what sparked me to write this post was a documentary I watched on showing how Rich Porter's uncle killed his nephew for the love of money. That's foul man how he dismembered the kid and dumped his body. People are turning on each other like never before for the love of cash, power, and social status. Innocent lives are being screwed from one's reckless ambition. While they live the high life, the victims are paying the price for their abusers mistakes (I hope you caught that). In the Gospels, Jesus talked about how people will turn on one another for selfish gains. Selfish gains are the results of a hateful heart. People will see their brother or sister doing well and out of envy and intimidation tear them down. They'll spit lies to others who know them and make them turn on the person, too. Years down the line, people see the envious soul for who they really are but by that time, it's too late. The damage has been done. Cain killed Abel not because he "worship of God" was better, he killed him because of intimidation and jealousy. That's what people are doing to others today. Some "repent" and make it right to those they hurt, others say they "repent" and keeping screwing up more people's lives. But karma is a "beyotch" and when she needs to be fed, she goes after the people who need to pay for their selfish crimes. I've learned and still learning to be my brothers keeper. That doesn't mean I become a yes man and let people use abuse me. That doesn't mean every time someone asks for help I'll be like God and save them. I hope that you all hear what I'm saying in this message to heart. Stay loyal to those who've been loyal to you. No matter how thick things gets, no matter what lies the outsiders say about those you've ran with for years and stay true to the game, don't turn on them. Remember what happened to Judas? After seeing the errors of his ways, he ended up killing himself. So if you aren't your brothers keeper, check yourself. If you are your brothers keeper, spread this discipline to others that need it.

Til next time, my friends, ISWTFIF (you'll figure out what this means....)

And a special treat from Omar Credle's very slept on "Brother's Keeper" @ http://youtu.be/96Tz3uzwgYo

TRIGGERS

I had to catch myself while I was driving down the road from work today. I had to do some more mindfulness techniques to keep my anger at bay when I got home. Of course, I talked with my beautiful wife about some thoughts in my head and eventually, those angry thoughts subsided. Thank God. I was about to blow. As I was going this mental tug of war in my mind, a thought came to mind, "so how is this thought working for you?" All I can say to myself was, "not that great." Then another thought came to mind, "so, what are you going to do about it?" I chose to talk about it and began the process of letting those thoughts go that wanted me to continue engaging in the mental tug of war. David won. Any other out there ever or going through a mental tug of war? Matter of fact, let me ask a better question, does anybody out there have some "triggers" squeezing in their life? I think so, even if you don't want to admit it. People can pray and fast all they want but the triggers will always be there. No matter how young, old, rich or poor, something in life will always touch us in a certain way that will sort of, if not, piss us off. It's the truth we don't want to read. A trigger maybe seeing someone that screwed us in the past. Maybe it's times of depression that lead us to run to certain addictions. The stress of meeting production at work drives us to the nearest bar or strip club. Triggers are something that will stay with us for the rest of our life and we have to learn how to deal with them when the gun is in our hand. Are we gonna "pull the hammer" or will we put the gun on safety and put it back in the holster?

I'm telling y'all, I'm trying, I'm really trying to not to pull out the gun in the first place. Sometimes, man, sometimes it's hard as hell.

But it's all about choices, right? We have to build up the mental fortitude to do the right thing, even when we feel it's right to pull the trigger. My father used to refer to me the "think first before you shoot" method. Through months and months of counseling for almost a year, I'm building the skills to keep myself from pulling the trigger (not as much, I still pull sometimes). At that moment, when I just want to cuss somebody out, knock somebody out, flip the bird when someone cuts off on the road, or get a traffic bill from one of those red light camera deals, I go straight into mindfulness. If I don't, the part of the world my presence is in isn't going to like me very much.

Think of it like this, what if we give in to the urge to pull the trigger, look at the damage we may inflict. Some of us are holding twelve gauges, other desert eagles. Either way, some is going to get hurt and the price we carry is feeling the after shock of our actions.

Do you feel me?

Til next time, my friends.......

How To Know When You're Being Used

I want to ask everyone this question, who out there likes to be used by people?

Ok, let me ask another question, do you like people using you to better themselves?

Is it hitting home....Maybe not. Ok. Do you think it's right for someone to use you under the false pretenses of friendship/relationship/partnership?

Now, if anyone of you like being used as an object only good for a particular moment, opportunity, or bank withdrawal, you're a dotard (a foolish person). I don't want to hurt your feelings or offend anyone (especially those who like "bondage/slavery" of "any kind"), but it's time for one of life's students take you to school. I don't know much but I'll tell you this, the 13th amendment of the United States Constitution "abolished slavery and involuntary servitude, unless one has committed a crime." In laymen terms, we're all free men and all deemed equal unless we break the law.

However, some of us don't know this and have subjected ourselves to menaces of our society. Have you ever noticed people in relationships (of any kind) where one is dominant over the other? The dominant is vain, smart, and insatiable looking for his or her next prey. The prey they look for are people who are unsure of themselves and like the "Bag Lady", carry a lot of  issues in their life. The prey is looking for shelter, a place to belong, and searches for a person or people to accept/lead them. The dominant sees pass the flaws and weaknesses of the prey and sees the potential "income" he or she will gain. So, they make their move. The prey is accepted as a friend or pseudo family member, especially in the Black community as brother, sister, or "cuz." The prey feels he or she is in a great place in their life, full of purpose, full of life, and full of adventure. The dominant teaches them various lessons on life, gives them "opportunities" to grow, and introduces them to a couple of more "dominant" friends. However, the prey doesn't know the dominant is taking from them what is God given, time, gifts, and individuality. Although the prey is being "nourished", the dominant is really using them. As time goes by, the dominant is going here, there, and everywhere. Their cars get more and more "elaborate" and their lifestyle more luxurious. The prey continues to give, give, and give more; yet they get less, less, and very less back. As the dominant is "successful" to the full, the prey's life is dearth. The time comes when the prey's "resources" are spent, the dominant "slays" them and moves on to the next one. Does the prey get a thank you. No, they get a swift kick in the ass and a "gurl/bwoy bye" verbal $h!t card to match.

David, what in the hell are you talking about?

I'm giving you a quick abstract/concrete literary painting of how we as people allow others to use up until there's nothing left.

Before I close this one out, let me give you some hints:

1. It's all about you supporting their dreams with you money and time.

2. They get you to think/say your selfish because you're trying to get a piece of the pie.

3. They keep harassing you until you give into their demands to what they want from you. 

4. They get "out the pocket" with you to make you fearful of them and to continue supporting their "habits."

5. You show all your admiration and love to them but they never give none to you.

6. They never show you gratitude, especially when/after they've used you up.

7. They're already "on to the next one..."

Like Nas said, "it ain't hard to tell....." Stop letting people use you before you get used up.


Til next time, my friends......

You Only Live Once, So Live

How's it going friends? I just wanted to drop some gems on this great Sunday evening. I've had some great conversations with my beautiful wife and friends about life. Wow. Life is short these days. One minute your walking down the street or shopping at the mall and then bam, your life is changed or over. I remember someone said something to me that still makes a lot of sense, "you only live once." Ain't that the truth....the greatest gift God has ever created is human life. Believe me it is and it astounds me how so many of us let it waste away. Each of us, good and evil people have things in life we ought to accomplish. Some of us do, some of us don't even try. Those who want to live life to the fullest make it happen while others just sit on their asses waiting on someone to carry them. "Faith without works is dead" is what a great said. I can say for myself, there are a lot of things that I'd like to do. I understand that I will need t take risks to see certain things happen. My wife calls me a turtle and boy isn't she right. I think the main thing that keeps many of us living life to the fullest is fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of failure. Fear of what others will say about you and your endeavors. Fear of having to go at it alone. But what is the solution to fear, faith. We must learn to believe in ourselves that if a goal or dream is in our heart, God put it there in the first place. This requires a steadfast confidence and determination to be all you can be and do all you can do. It's always an easy thing to go at it all the way but in the end, it's worth. So we can stay where we are and be comfortable. Or we can move on to become great with our friend mister uncomfortable tagging along. Live life on your own terms, silence those voices of doubt, and live life to the fullest. YOLO...so live...

Til next time......